somethings should just ...never be published i guess.
vulnerabilities....fragments of the soul....

doll, unroll your spirit from this hole
unfold wings springs make this
scream
mind vomit yellow yellow yellow
daisy blue lavender
don't hesitate; fate brings people together
or
rips them apart some
words needs melodies to proceed
like seal the deal,
heal and
feel-
ing is not a good thing baby...over
sensitivities will not break you free
proceed not with this idiocy.

may i remind you
nay, may i remind you?
caring too much is Not a good deed?

freed
soul: someone bitter callous cruel
shelled
on top. there is no value
for love, will you
wallow in love when
wallowed-out loves
are enveloped in grief?
please.
reap the benefits of distances to keep
speak nought of ill but drill
patience and kindness, naive happygood words
remain unheard. unheard. unheard.

odd feeling..everything is right but everything is wrong. i wanna burst into song and cry,  simultaneously. the family is broken, hairline fractures i feel i cannot fix and over attempt to do this brings only this- mindfuck vomit of words and no rest.
brittle yellow blue baby bottles i am inspired oddly by maternity, gaping holes in the delivery of, i feel i could do a better job. optimistic naive youth? maybe. i strive to prevent tarnishing of the soul. bronze embittered war soldier already, i am tired of this everlasting painful journey.
ya Allah, i would crave eternal sleep but the prospect of hellfire doesn't entice me. where do i find relief? where do i find relief?

-eeda

there is so much to say.
but i
keep
forgetting forgetting forgetting...

love is so short, 

forgetting....

-neruda

i scrawl
back of notebooks,
(know-it-all.)

lumber

isn't just a word. it's

a state of mind, a

chosen preferred attitude

against life.wonderful

what the affix 'ing'

can do to words.

forward

state of mind.

keep goin.

-eeda

i have learnt:
that love is not equal to respect.

ur right...

maybe i am all those disgusting things u imply that i am, those disgusting things u used to date in the past....maybe you just cannot realize how different this time is.
maybe
i kept trying in the hope that
my love alone will be enough to satisfy you,

how could something so pure so untainted ever be so hurtful?
when my intention has only ever been clean, why can so much poison arise from it?

maybe love realli isnt enough.
but what more could i possibly give?


stop hurting me. please.
i only wish to see you content
with me.

imnotawhoreimnotawhoreimnotawhoreimnotimnotimnot

abba said beta he will throw the uncle episode in ur face, make u feel like u were unclean, impure.
donts,pleasedont,pleasepleasepleasedont.
u.dont.realize.how.even.the.slightest.smallest.insinuation.breaks.me.so.
utterly.

dontabuseurpower.im.in.pieces.at.your.feet.


u promised me this would be different. lekin abhi se itna bura?
save me. us.

be careful what you wish for....
happiness can be a very painful thing indeed.....