the call has come, therye on their way.
clothes hair nails in check, smile plastered on and heart a-flutter, flowers and gifts ready at hand.
what is this awkward state of affairs?the whole family sits breaths indrawn, waiting, ticking clocks and hands,
careful not to cease the perfectly ironed shirts, the polished shoes.
mom fiddles around in the kitchen, keeping me out of sight lest she bursts into tears again, sobbing on my shoulder telling me she
doesnt know how she will live without me.
patchy start; late arrival in toronto, bad weather, guests and a new city lead to delay.. my dad is upset, being a man of word and time (barely) except when it counts. this counts. i bite my lip praying for them to hurry, and hoping to delay this time as logn as a ican before i will have to face them.
the sky is a perfect blue,having won over last nights torrential rains..the yellow sun bathes the city centre in a golden glow outside my window..im typing restlessly to take my mind off the yawning pit in my stomach, the jittery fingers, the constrained breath.
such a clash of two worlds i fought so long and hard to segregate into two separate entities..fire and ice coagulate into a ball of frozen tar with a soft cherry pink cottoncandy inside. my dad calls it a rock-solid foundation for the relationship to come.  i cannot believe it is happening, in the Here, Now, Present.
i need to breatheeeeeeeee breatheeeeeeeeeeeeee breatheeeeeee... loved ones message consolations and hope. i hold onto them like flimsy scraps of paper..

going to go and pray now, need some divine moral support on this one... counting down seconds...

-eeda