(so much more natural to record the Tragic.)

mom and S sang out alternate verses of kisi roz tum se mulaqat hogi 3 nights ago..could i ask for more bliss to hear her singing from behind the bathroom door while he poured out music through one end of his vocal chords and out the speaker phone on my cell?
or when he calls mom 'ammi' and abbu 'dad' and when miy dad actually asks me 'hows mubashir?, u are blessed to have him'
or when ammi says 'i think if we had picked out a guy ourselves, it would not have been better than you'

the end of the storyline. end of the tragic. if this s Allah's (Swt) reward for patience then i'd go through the two years trapped in my Vancouver cell with a smile on my lips and a wrinkle-free brow.
a little faith goes a longggggggggggggg longgggggggggg way...


is my Dadu-angel still watching over me? it feels like it.

older writings remind me of a more inspired eeda with moonbeams in her voice and starshine under heavy-lidded eyes... why did all of it die in
side despite the lyrics cascading off the wallpapered walls, women singing merry congrats to the bride when i feel like a giddy little child on the outside and stunned little girl on the inside?


23/24th July 2011- yet another move. 
24 B1 7th East Street, Karachi, Pakistan (1989)
to Jubail, Saudia Arabia (1) to Jubail, Saudia Arabia (2) to
24 B1 7th East Street, Karachi, Pakistan (1995) to
P-14/II 9th East street, Karachi, Pakistan ( 2000) to
W-44 Regatta Tripoli, Libya (2002) to
U.S {D.C, NY, N.J, Maryland, Pennsylvania, Virgina}; (August-November 2006) to
W-44 Tripoli,Libya (November-December, 2006) to
P-14/11, Karachi, Pakistan. (December, 2006) to

V6P6L2 Vancouver, Canada (2007) to
L5M0H2 Toronto, Canada (July, 2009) to
M3J0A8 Toronto, Canada (November, 2009) to
L4Z4C7 Toronto, Canada (August, 2010) to
924 Focal (2011).
Home.

(until NY next year that is.)

a move every summer for the last 4/5 year, and numerous before. tiring....
i leave a little bit behind at every place I stay; that's why i remember houses..addresses,..they become the person i was at those places..
or maybe its the house itself that chooses the identity it likes, and keeps..even past when uve moved out.

i see the blank shutters in my old house and i see the old most recent eeda standing at the window sill; and i know EXACTLY how she's feeling and what she's thinking.

the new house hasn't chosen a 'me' yet. i don't know who to be or how to be or what identity to create.

in other events....
last day of class and last presentation--21st July 2011;
'you are the best group leader i have ever had' 'you bring people together..synchronize them in a way that is impossible' 'quality work..you speak so well' 'very well presented' 'you're leaving?! congratulations! i wish you the very best' 'you stayed behind class and taught me how to speak..thank you so much'
beautiful parting words..i want to change lives. i know i can.
end of 4 years of ....cannot capture essences in words...

oh. and 39 days to a Mrs.

milestones milestones milestones.

i erect graveyards of old me's and thread air cradles for the welcoming..

let it begin,begin,begin

-eeda