Of the Near-Faint, and the Long-Weekend.

well it wasnt all that long if u get down to it..haha..
so i havent written mi utter bs in here for a while, better get crackin on it..haha,i sound like a squirrel./ gettin nutty and crackin..bwaha.
okay lame joke.
so hm, this weekends highlightsssss,,, ( not the hair ones dodos), helped out in the kitchen majorli, went to the mall, took mi cousin to his scout trainin thing, er...bohring..
Oh- this was MAD cool,i NEARLY fainted. its been mi utter desperate ambition to faint , i kid you not..hah..nah its jus fascinating, lol...seriousli..the earliest incident i cn rememebr was mi friend in 3rd grade who fainted at mi feet, and no it wasnt cuz i threw up, she was more overli impressed by my amazing-ness and was her ardent swooning overwhelmed her and she thus, fainted.
tht sounds cheesy even to me, haha..well actualli it was the heat, and u know in pakistan when we say HEAT, we mean Proffesional heat, not the wanna be thing you find lurking in ovens okay, this thing is The Heat to Beat all previous Heats. And that rhymes. Again. its the (loser) poet in me that makes evrything rhyme sumhow.
so neways this girl fainted and the hooplah tht followed afterwards was damn impressive. not to mention she got not one but two icecreams afterwards.yes, TWO. The Injustice. as a lil kid in 3rd grade, that was like a great personal insult to my tiny,ice-cream deprived soul.
haw, not.
thus i embarked on the i-must-faint-too quest, for which, this sunday, i reached a whole new level like thisss close to my lifelong goal.
YES I LOVE MELODRAMA I SAID SO ALREADY OKAY! jeez.
anywayssss,, so basicalli i was sleeping
but first lets define The Farida Sleep. yes this is a whole new series of sleep that deserves a special mention.
Followers of this sleep usualli exhibit the following characterisitcs-
1) covering as much available space as possible in the area in which they are sleeping. this is NOT limited to beds but may include, bus seats, car seats, the backyard, and the all-time shrine of Sleep itself, The Desk In Class.
be it the one at school or college.
2)They DO NOT wake up at any cost, unless trampled by mutant elephants twenty times the regular size being ridden by ear deafening orchestras.
by which point it wud b futile to wake said person as they wud b dead. or in further eternal sleep.
yes that is the all time goal of their life ( mine's tied in with fainting) they sleep either way.
for further details contact the Guru herself.
lol.
so in any case, i was having one of those Sleeps when the doorbell rang and in a zombie like state i ran to open the door.
oh which means i gotta add a sub clause,i woke up ONLI CUZ mi reputation as lazy bum with my aunt was at stake and needed to be remedied.
anyways so i ran to open the door, mi head blank, ..saw mi uncle, remebered im in slightly inappropriate sleep wear, ran upstairs to get a shawl, ran down to er..well. doom..ha.. er
no realli i jus blacked out and cudnt see. couldnt move either, and felt like it was snowing inside mi brain ( yes mi brain follows seasons all on its own). felt like i had no energy, wanted to throw up went in the bathroom, collapsed on the floor, manged to sumhow get out and collapse on the chair, it was like every single joule (is that the right unit ?!?!) of energy i had ws gone, and THAT wud b greattttttttt if it had taken the fat stores in mi body with it which wud mean id hav a flatter tummy but noooooooooooo, it had to leave the silly fat behind for me to work out and lose.and no im jus kiddin here ,im not THAT health obsessed.
neways i whimpered out mi aunts name 5 times before she heard me and i told her like a lil kid,
'khala,i cant see.'
ha. total movieeeee scene. and i dunno why im elaborating this whole thng so much like more of an attention seeking prat bt its not like tht, it just seems so downright hilarious to me right now. anyways so she gave me breakfast whutever and i ate and no, the reason whyyyy the whole black-out thing happened is NOT because i hav sum serious secret bacteria thing conquering mi brain, (god forbid) .. basicalli when u get up, u need to sit up for like 3 seconds to let the blood circulation be okay and go to ur head and whutever. nd i went from flat-out-asleep to running-like-mad. haha..and apparently if u do not let it happen u can faint. THERE finalli i reached the whole point of mi story after goin round in circles, bt it was damn hilarious anyways.
so no i dint faint, i WILL one day u wait and see..i come from a family of Fainters, we're liek the pro's people, i kid u not again. im not much of a kidding kind as u already know. (ha ha ha haaa).
mi mum fainted not one or two, but THREE times at her wedding. yes, imagine the bride walkin down the aisleand going from upright-sobbing to slump down in a heap on the floor.
dramatic, yes.
oh theres pictures of it too. apparently she was too upset and was crying hard and ws hungry and her clothes were damn heavy ( trust me i know.i tried it on and i cudnt walk a step) and to top it all she was like 40 kgs at the time.
ha..oh and she used to faint left right and center before havin mi sis, tho tht wasnt a lot of fun.
haha...so yeh hm,..interesting topic and i think ive exhausted it enuffff

mi aunt was mad at me a few days back cuz i went shoppin w/o tellin her and she saw me in a new top..and she didnt scream nuthin jus said it realli quietly with sumthin like i hate being lied to. i was hurt and guilty, made her a card, and over teh wekkend- helped out much more than required with the house and gave her a nice longgggggggggg pedicure. yay me.
i dont like breakin peoples hearts, ha..im the blunt to ur face but also apologise to ur face kind..i think..dunno. er
anyways..hmm.. so my cousin had his bday, and i babysat/organised/played with/controlled/yelled at/ helped/acted-as-punch-toy for about 10 ultra hyper 9 yr old guys. fun yes. they were sooooo..HYPER , i think i said already, and testosterone fuelled! and i thought puberty didnt hit guys till they were like 15! they were hitting and fighting and punching and calling each other sissies and kiddie-swearing,which is like 'ur a loser, ur dumb,' and 'oh yea? well you're stupid! ( which is supposedly worse.) and ur a sissy too (which is THE worst. like their own S word. usually uttered by the Big Bad Bully)' usually followed by' wahhhhh i want my mommy, Nowwwwwww'
thankfully we didnt reach mommy-stage..lol
but yes they were darn cute. darn is a kidde-swear btw, so this page is now rated PG-7 .liek it wasn rated mature (and mental) before..haha..
anyhowsssss...so yeh, oh they were playin pin the tale on the donkey and apparently one of them decided id make a good donkey so he spent the next 10 minutes tryna touch my bum. and place an imaginary, and im sure brown and hairy, tail to my aforesaid rear end.
yes it does make me sound like sum kind of desperate pedo. No i DID NOT come up with that tail idea it was entirely his own.
ha,,too bad the onli guys i get attention from are like under-10..the other one was that kid at Eid who took a sudden fancy to mi nose. apparently it tasted like strawberries.
that day was awkward in more ways then one. The Farida Sleep was attackin me in small doses throughout, lets just call it The Shot for small, cuz it does attack like u a shot. no seriousli, for like this one moment ull hav this overwhelming desire to sleep.its either that or fainting on the spot..ive had these more and more, mi aunt thinks its weakness and a messed up day pattern and whutever.

nehowww.the otherrrr awkward thing was mi uncle..he decided to pick up his old agenda to act like mi 42 yr old high school crush ..haw haw.. jus the wanna-grab ur hand ,pressin my foot deliberately, tiny lil touchie touchie thing.
Yes, its Gross to the umpteenth degree.
and oh, listen to this conversation i had with mi cousin and him eavesdroppin..we were sitting on a sofa, me at one end , uncle at the other end, with all the kids makin a ruckus and attackin each other with balloons when mi cousin ,moiz, came up to give me a hug. and i told him' but i want a kissie too meeda' ( i call him meeeda) and held out mi cheek
and hes like- nooo
and mi uncles like- i will.

it took all the strength i had not to throw up or smack him in the face, bt nehow..he ws like that all that day which was yesterday and i havent seen him all day today which suits me just fine thank u very much.

i shudn b makin a big deal of all these tiny things in mi life..worse things are happening or have happened to people before.
mi aunt was tellin me how these two colleagues of hers found out they had serious diseases while they were studyin and had to battle it out to get where they are today.
the first- serious diabetes in 4th year of studyin med school.
the second- blood cancer in 3rd year of studyin med school. 6 months before wedding.
and here i go complainin abt whut-the-hell-ever. anyways both of them fought it off, guy 2 had a bone marrow transplant and went ahead wit the wedding (aw, cute) and is still on meds but is doin fine on the whole.
we have so much to b thankful for..like dangggggggggg....haha..
hm..well its like 11 23 right now and i still hav an econ assignment to do so ima shoot off.i stil remember a coupla things to write about which ill prolli fill in later ( we had a long weekend okay.... so more things happened)
anywaysssssss,,me signing off for now.
btw, BIG HOLLA to sandy- i love the fact that you hardly ever get the chance to come online, but when you do you make it a point to come here and read mi blog and comment.
it touches mi heartttt. realli realli realli..good to knw ur sittin in ur lil corner of the world, and still caring and remembering.
thanx sis, i owe u one (hundred and a million times infinity)
lol
and yes i love ya'all too..like SHOO much..haha
byebyeeee..4 now.
eeda.
lotsa x's and lotsa o's.