.
Existential nihilism-the belief that life has no intrinsic meaning or value. . With respect to the universe, a single human or even the entire human species is insignificant and without purpose and can make no real change in the totality of existence.
i have lost myself.
i don't know who i am or what i am anymore.
i don't know what i believe in.
i don't know what opinions,values,morals,right or wrong means.
i know about God, i'm too ashamed to face Him and ask for help.
i don't know if I can do what He expects of me.
i don't know if He'll forgive me.
i don't know if He'll give me what I'm fighting for, when i feel like i increasingly don't deserve it.
i don't know whether what i'm fighting for is even worth it at the end.
i don't know if i can cope with an erratic family anymore.
i don't know if i have any patience left.
i don't know if i have any strength left.
i don't know what i want.
i don't know who i want.
i don't know if i want you as bad as you and your entire family want me.
i don't know who i want to be. not now. not in the next second. not tomorrow. not next month. not next year.not for the rest of my life.
i don't know what eternity means. i cannot be scared of what i don't know.
i don't know how to heal.
i don't want to howl.
i don't know my future.
i don't want to know about my past.
i don't have a present.
ignorance is not bliss.
i only know this
i am scared.out.of.my.fucking.mind.
i hate not knowing.
5 comments:
*Aanay walay aye ga
Janay wala jaye ga
Hona hai jo
Ho janay doh*
You'll find yourself and what you want and what you need. Just give it time.
Don't be scared. You're SuperGirl. We have faith in you. You've fought everything and you won't give up now.
Breathe. Have cookies and Iloveyou.
Listen to me. We HAVENT SKYPED IN SO LONG! WE NEED TO TALK. I JUS REALISED = O
noooooo don't talk to chun chun... us ka bhi damagh kharab tumhara toh waisey hi kharab hi thaa :p ... mil ker sab ka dhamagh kharab ho jayee gaa is liye don't talk :p ...
anywaysss jokes apart ... marina said it right.... let it rip girl... inshallah set ho gaa... i'll pray for u don't worry i have special connections above... he doesn't let me die... so he has to hear what i say ... so chill ...
waisey bhi u forgot ... I LOVE U naah ;) !!
@marina.
SuperGirl with SuperGlue that jus dried out and crumbled and fell apart.
must've been past the expiry date :)
Thank u for the comfort.
I need a cookie and a hug.
loveutoo!
@chunchun.
sexytime on skype yes? hahaha i havent talked to u either!! let me get done with les examens :P
@ubee
jaisay tumhara dimagh kum kharab nahee hai na?
hahahaah
yaar do pray. mera dimagh waqaeee mein satya geya hai. :S
:)
lo kis ney kaha mayra demagh kharab hai ?? acha khasa toh hai ;) !!
and khali damagh nahi tum poori hi satya gayi ho :p !! per don't worry sweet heart i still accept u for who u are ;) !!
Post a Comment