32.5 weeks

 I'm sitting at a psychiatry clinic with S. 

He's just started the FDA approved nasal version of Ketamine, for treatment resistent depression. 

I'm watching him as my son kicks and rolls around in my belly, knocking me on the insides. Watching anothrr son mourn his mother, tears pooling at the edge of his eyes. Telling me he can picture her, he misses her, so so much. 

I wonder if my son will love me the same way. I wonder if my son will mourn me like this when I'm gone.