intense.
one word that describes my life, my family, my being.
it is almost always like this, this constant flux. my existense travels between one state of intense anxiety to the next. a fight-flight-arrival repeat mantra.
i float like a gold molecule on chainlinks.
i miss those evasive delusions that bought me back to earth. stilled me.
you, drug, and you hin. you know who you are.
you know who i am.
i walk with white gold sand grains lodged between worn out toes. seaweed air and green blue sea shimmers silver in the fading moonlight.
this place is me.
i am stamped all over with the fingerprints of this restless billowing wind, the sharp salty smell between your teeth, the sea lying like a moonlit purple easel.
i paint cyanide dreams with pencil tips and charcoal. i paint pictures of us.
home.
the almost uncomfortable warmth of dj's face pressed close to my cheek. the golden sheen on her eyelied, the matted brown hair, the curve of her arm locked around my waist.
she breathes fairydreams into my ear.
i stand in awe, in painful regret when i look at them. aged and beautiful. mum and dad. i wish i couldve been here, seen them grow old together into this graceful, lovable couple that fights and forgives, dances and hugs within seconds of each other.
and jammy, my soul clone. wisdom beyond his young years.i cant remembr the last time i laughed as hard, as sincerely.
silver songs and golden moonbeams, floating in this white marble house.
home.
less emo crap later.. :) i miss bloggieworld. yeshido.
and drug and hinnybinny, if ur reading. missing you is like breathing :)
-eeda
