loose ends

Id been thinking for a while ( ...the last, 5 odd months ish?) that i needed to talk to Golf and kinda just..end things....not confront really, but like,..tie up the loopholes.
i talked to him tonight.
borrowed a coupla guys balls to do it too..
BIG ones.
baahhah

still feels like i have butterflies in my stomach.. not the pretty colourful kind... the mutant pit-bull/butterfly cross-breed experiment-gone-wrong types. prolli gnna make a hole and come out through the other side any second now.
dunno why i still get that feeling.
the conversation felt like i was wading through tar. dead end dead end dead end.

He said he stopped talking 'cuz he'd been busy, and had too many things to handle.

I understand actualli..100%. it'd b kinda nice if u had TOLD me that?!?! and dont tell me i had no right to be told or whatever, u'd told me that i was one of the most important people in ur life at the time.
i'm sorry, but That's how u treat someone u, quote unquote, 'love'?

thank Gudness we got that over and done with.
I actually pity ur wife-to-be, if that's how ur gnna act each time u get a promotion.

I didn't quite rant. I didn't quite yell. I didn't quite complain. But to just ask is to belittle, and it killled my ego.
He told me once he'd cure me of that. Here's a start.
Nad said i shud just do it and get it over with. SO my style. He was right. it's just one loose end of many, bt feels good.

Whatever. it's the End of another era. I can take out the bookmark and close this story now.

And now I lay me down to sleep.

It's Over. i dunno why it feels like that.
..so peaceful finalli.

xo
-eeda