.


there are few things that i KNOW i want from life. very few things.
like, hot chocolates. and back massages. and hot showers.
moments where you're just ..blissfully Still


i was talking to him about it a while ago. having these moments of absolute clarity. moments where all the clatter babble shouting screaming yelling noise in ur head just goes
Hussssshhhhhhhhhhhh....

he said he had them in intense poker matches. on rides back from work with the music blaring out high.

i have mine with. standing in the rain. bright red and dusty copper trees. kids' toothy smiles.
nights at the riverside.


it's like finding something that's just a little more riotous, a little more turbulent,
than you.
something so exquisitely beautiful it makes
all the flaws, all the imperfections in the world fade
and weave themselves within the night sky, shimmer like stars in your eyes.


maybe that's what stars are.
broken, flawed pieces of the world that we fling away as far away from us as we can.
and then we gaze at the destruction in silence and
awe.
at the beauty of those perfect imperfections
those million silvery flaws that pierce the sky and pierce the heart and leave you with a painfully beautiful calm inside.

so very peaceful.


it's funny how these stars, despite flawed and broken and shattered,
still look so perfect in the sky.
when we wish on them, it's not really wishing on the stars. its for
that feeling that feeling that feeling that broken hope feeling.


maybe a star is just as broken as the heart in me,
but just as hopeful.


What becomes of a dream deferred
that never makes it to the world to be seen or heard
Do it breathe? Do it got a heartbeat? Is it alive?
Do it leave, only to become a star in the sky?
-from 'Everything Man' by Talib Kweli.


enough emo?!

...................................

so.
in conclusion.
point was.
i live for these moments of stillness.


like the one at the riverside yesterday night. just watching the river stretch away like a big oily black ribbon shining like a million broken pieces of glass glued together, fade into the night, blacker than black, blacker than the insides of a cat.
it was beautiful.

yeah.
enough food for thought for today.

and o, to crack,
ur email DID make me smile. =)
e(moan)ness kay bachay.
:P

more later,
xo
-eeda.