poetry is an exaggerated expression of emotion.
keep in mind when reading the following.
and o, above alliteration not intended.

and o again, i know its not really poetry but..o well.



i don't know where we're going wrong.
or maybe i do.
maybe it's me.
maybe it's you.

i called back because.
u had made it okay to call back.
if either of us had anything left unsaid.
but when u call back and say what u say we
talk
converse
wallow in the intimacy.
why was this time so
awkward
cold.
i did not do it out of obligation
i did not do it for the drama
i told you that for me saying
anything bordering on the
confessional
is tough because i'm not
built that way i don't wear my heart
on my sleeve my gut
on a platter
i
hide
things which make me weak to
you vulnerable which
explains why when u ask me to
pour my heart to you like you do to me i
hesitate and never
speak.
so when i do speak take it as
the key take it
like a gem in the
dusty sands of a long forgotten
desert take
me seriously.
i mean every word i say even when
i tell you that half i say is nonsense i
am telling you a lie because the nonsense is
camouflage
and hides many truths
inside.
dig for the pearls because they
are worth looking for.
but when they are handed to you shining
and clear on a plate then cherish
them and hold them dear because moments
like these confessions
are precious.

i
think it might be one of
the biggest decisions of my life to let you go but
it just seems like a
rusty hypothesis like a
blueprint for a building that we
failed to construct.i
cannot let you go i
cannot wring free of your grasp i
tell myself i tolerate you because
you charm me but in truth i
miss you the second you are gone i wait
for you to come back i
cant imagine the next four days with you
gone.

i am sorry if that is making me act
distant i
push people away before they
push themselves.

i want u to go but
when u do u leave me wide
awake and
waiting
stone
cold .


i dont really miss him. is that weird? its not night yet tho. ive kept busy.

today was an AWESOME DAY! like AWESOME!
yes marina, the mutinous grey sky and the rain and ahhh,straight out of an indian movie.

mausam hai..ashikana...ae dil kaheen say unko..aisay mein..dhoondh lana..

song not aimed at anything.
Not.
it was ammi abbu's song when it'd b raining.

hung out with friends. had gandhi bhelpuri chat, ( no it wasnt old and wrinkly, but yes it was brown)

khala's insisting on telling ammi. even if everything ends.
apparently she wants my mum to know of my changed perspective on life.
by which she means that yes i think i'm old enough to make my own desicions now.
whoooo..scandal.

regardless, it's been a beautiful beautiful happpy shapppy day.
he called too, for 2 mins.
:)
time to let off
let go
take leave
of you.

hopefully slighlty more intellectual stuff later tonight. i know all ive done is rant lately.
abologies.
imaginations on a hike.

and rudolph was..
xo
-eeda