yeh..cotton..the thing they drilled into our heads in geo class in grade 6 in pakistan. lol..yeh, thats THE reason why i dont make much sense at any given time., its all the cotton in there. Don't hate.
so anyways, reason 1 y i mention cotton is cuz i had cotton candy with ths guy from my math lab..they were giving it out as part of the stress-relief week before exams at uni ( aren't they considerate?? u think? the exams are a right, B word) and we ate it like kids,-aka makin it sticky, smearin it everywher, and plottin how to stick it to the top of the bald bus driver's head w/o him noticing.
yup, 007 agents at work. life is chill man, its chill.
haha..okay cotton mention part 2, it snowed in the city today and yesterday. it was like cotton balls following down from the sky,,nice anf fluffy and white.. awesome. literalli..awesomness was manifesting itself in the form of cotton look alike frozen crystals. awseome.
my vocab has apparently ceased to function cuz its 1 am.i SAID dont hate..jeez.
so whuts up? nuthin nuthin..class in 8 hours,exams in 3 days, holidays in 9 days,. yay..
and hmm...my grandad told me today he missed me. the 5 months i spent with him earlier on this year were alot of fun and the house was quiet w/o me. and that that time had meant alot to him.
that made mi day.
funny thing is at times we didnt get on well at all cuz of all the visa apllication stress bt yeh, it was jus the thought tht ws nice.
im sleepy and i realli dont feel like writing much here, haha...so ill head off now i guess..
ciao for now,
eeda.
Monday, December 3, 2007
Wednesday, November 28, 2007
Let it snow, let it snow.+ Undead again.
tho muth hath happeneth, i thunno wher tho begin,
firth of all, i deletheth me blog by misthake, ith wath awful.
okay i cant do the lisp thing much longer it took mme 3 minutes t otype that thing..
so anywayssss,,
HIE..lol first all,,,,...
second alots been up lately, i delted mi blog by mistake AND had an agonising mourning session bt it for the next 7 days.BUT praise be to those blogger people who set it back up for me...it took a coupla emails BUT they DID IT...very nike inspired aren;'t they..
so yeh here i am again....and oh, i saw mi first snow in 18 years ( AMAZING FEAT) 2 days ago..YAY me..i feel like spiderman whose bit by a terrible insect and feels all sad for 10 days until he finds sum magic thing wher he can climb walls..dotn ask me whut that has to do with anything..its jus a HAPPY happy europhic kinda feeling..the whole uni is bathed in white and the funniest thing is that down in the city it isnt even rainning much.hah..so yeth as i doth speaketh ( wannabe-weirdness+lisp+shakespeare), it ith thnowing...thou may not laugh at me thu fool! thuth up i tell thou, thuth up!!..
yes im i nan awesome mood...its the snow i tell u..it look so prettyyyyyyy...
ok..hm..aside frm tht, well nuthing muchs been happeni (contradiciton + understatement) ..im jus in fdenial of the amount of work i hav to do i realli SHUD get crackin on it startin now which means i shud stop slackin off in uni and grab a coffee and go read mi english novel..which i hav an exam for..in like, a weeek and a bit..and oh i need to keep checkin ifd they might nt cancel classes today cuz it gets real hard for the buses to go down the mountain and theres been incidents where people had to stay overnight at uni...freaky..yes..lol
so,hm thts MOI for now,.....will do painfully bigger blogs now and CHERISH EACH AND EVRY ONE OF THEM.. i feel re-incarnated again, seriousli...
back from the dead..Yippe meeee..lol
bye for now,luvyah all./
firth of all, i deletheth me blog by misthake, ith wath awful.
okay i cant do the lisp thing much longer it took mme 3 minutes t otype that thing..
so anywayssss,,
HIE..lol first all,,,,...
second alots been up lately, i delted mi blog by mistake AND had an agonising mourning session bt it for the next 7 days.BUT praise be to those blogger people who set it back up for me...it took a coupla emails BUT they DID IT...very nike inspired aren;'t they..
so yeh here i am again....and oh, i saw mi first snow in 18 years ( AMAZING FEAT) 2 days ago..YAY me..i feel like spiderman whose bit by a terrible insect and feels all sad for 10 days until he finds sum magic thing wher he can climb walls..dotn ask me whut that has to do with anything..its jus a HAPPY happy europhic kinda feeling..the whole uni is bathed in white and the funniest thing is that down in the city it isnt even rainning much.hah..so yeth as i doth speaketh ( wannabe-weirdness+lisp+shakespeare), it ith thnowing...thou may not laugh at me thu fool! thuth up i tell thou, thuth up!!..
yes im i nan awesome mood...its the snow i tell u..it look so prettyyyyyyy...
ok..hm..aside frm tht, well nuthing muchs been happeni (contradiciton + understatement) ..im jus in fdenial of the amount of work i hav to do i realli SHUD get crackin on it startin now which means i shud stop slackin off in uni and grab a coffee and go read mi english novel..which i hav an exam for..in like, a weeek and a bit..and oh i need to keep checkin ifd they might nt cancel classes today cuz it gets real hard for the buses to go down the mountain and theres been incidents where people had to stay overnight at uni...freaky..yes..lol
so,hm thts MOI for now,.....will do painfully bigger blogs now and CHERISH EACH AND EVRY ONE OF THEM.. i feel re-incarnated again, seriousli...
back from the dead..Yippe meeee..lol
bye for now,luvyah all./
Tuesday, November 13, 2007
Of the Near-Faint, and the Long-Weekend.
well it wasnt all that long if u get down to it..haha..
so i havent written mi utter bs in here for a while, better get crackin on it..haha,i sound like a squirrel./ gettin nutty and crackin..bwaha.
okay lame joke.
so hm, this weekends highlightsssss,,, ( not the hair ones dodos), helped out in the kitchen majorli, went to the mall, took mi cousin to his scout trainin thing, er...bohring..
Oh- this was MAD cool,i NEARLY fainted. its been mi utter desperate ambition to faint , i kid you not..hah..nah its jus fascinating, lol...seriousli..the earliest incident i cn rememebr was mi friend in 3rd grade who fainted at mi feet, and no it wasnt cuz i threw up, she was more overli impressed by my amazing-ness and was her ardent swooning overwhelmed her and she thus, fainted.
tht sounds cheesy even to me, haha..well actualli it was the heat, and u know in pakistan when we say HEAT, we mean Proffesional heat, not the wanna be thing you find lurking in ovens okay, this thing is The Heat to Beat all previous Heats. And that rhymes. Again. its the (loser) poet in me that makes evrything rhyme sumhow.
so neways this girl fainted and the hooplah tht followed afterwards was damn impressive. not to mention she got not one but two icecreams afterwards.yes, TWO. The Injustice. as a lil kid in 3rd grade, that was like a great personal insult to my tiny,ice-cream deprived soul.
haw, not.
thus i embarked on the i-must-faint-too quest, for which, this sunday, i reached a whole new level like thisss close to my lifelong goal.
YES I LOVE MELODRAMA I SAID SO ALREADY OKAY! jeez.
anywayssss,, so basicalli i was sleeping
but first lets define The Farida Sleep. yes this is a whole new series of sleep that deserves a special mention.
Followers of this sleep usualli exhibit the following characterisitcs-
1) covering as much available space as possible in the area in which they are sleeping. this is NOT limited to beds but may include, bus seats, car seats, the backyard, and the all-time shrine of Sleep itself, The Desk In Class.
be it the one at school or college.
2)They DO NOT wake up at any cost, unless trampled by mutant elephants twenty times the regular size being ridden by ear deafening orchestras.
by which point it wud b futile to wake said person as they wud b dead. or in further eternal sleep.
yes that is the all time goal of their life ( mine's tied in with fainting) they sleep either way.
for further details contact the Guru herself.
lol.
so in any case, i was having one of those Sleeps when the doorbell rang and in a zombie like state i ran to open the door.
oh which means i gotta add a sub clause,i woke up ONLI CUZ mi reputation as lazy bum with my aunt was at stake and needed to be remedied.
anyways so i ran to open the door, mi head blank, ..saw mi uncle, remebered im in slightly inappropriate sleep wear, ran upstairs to get a shawl, ran down to er..well. doom..ha.. er
no realli i jus blacked out and cudnt see. couldnt move either, and felt like it was snowing inside mi brain ( yes mi brain follows seasons all on its own). felt like i had no energy, wanted to throw up went in the bathroom, collapsed on the floor, manged to sumhow get out and collapse on the chair, it was like every single joule (is that the right unit ?!?!) of energy i had ws gone, and THAT wud b greattttttttt if it had taken the fat stores in mi body with it which wud mean id hav a flatter tummy but noooooooooooo, it had to leave the silly fat behind for me to work out and lose.and no im jus kiddin here ,im not THAT health obsessed.
neways i whimpered out mi aunts name 5 times before she heard me and i told her like a lil kid,
'khala,i cant see.'
ha. total movieeeee scene. and i dunno why im elaborating this whole thng so much like more of an attention seeking prat bt its not like tht, it just seems so downright hilarious to me right now. anyways so she gave me breakfast whutever and i ate and no, the reason whyyyy the whole black-out thing happened is NOT because i hav sum serious secret bacteria thing conquering mi brain, (god forbid) .. basicalli when u get up, u need to sit up for like 3 seconds to let the blood circulation be okay and go to ur head and whutever. nd i went from flat-out-asleep to running-like-mad. haha..and apparently if u do not let it happen u can faint. THERE finalli i reached the whole point of mi story after goin round in circles, bt it was damn hilarious anyways.
so no i dint faint, i WILL one day u wait and see..i come from a family of Fainters, we're liek the pro's people, i kid u not again. im not much of a kidding kind as u already know. (ha ha ha haaa).
mi mum fainted not one or two, but THREE times at her wedding. yes, imagine the bride walkin down the aisleand going from upright-sobbing to slump down in a heap on the floor.
dramatic, yes.
oh theres pictures of it too. apparently she was too upset and was crying hard and ws hungry and her clothes were damn heavy ( trust me i know.i tried it on and i cudnt walk a step) and to top it all she was like 40 kgs at the time.
ha..oh and she used to faint left right and center before havin mi sis, tho tht wasnt a lot of fun.
haha...so yeh hm,..interesting topic and i think ive exhausted it enuffff
mi aunt was mad at me a few days back cuz i went shoppin w/o tellin her and she saw me in a new top..and she didnt scream nuthin jus said it realli quietly with sumthin like i hate being lied to. i was hurt and guilty, made her a card, and over teh wekkend- helped out much more than required with the house and gave her a nice longgggggggggg pedicure. yay me.
i dont like breakin peoples hearts, ha..im the blunt to ur face but also apologise to ur face kind..i think..dunno. er
anyways..hmm.. so my cousin had his bday, and i babysat/organised/played with/controlled/yelled at/ helped/acted-as-punch-toy for about 10 ultra hyper 9 yr old guys. fun yes. they were sooooo..HYPER , i think i said already, and testosterone fuelled! and i thought puberty didnt hit guys till they were like 15! they were hitting and fighting and punching and calling each other sissies and kiddie-swearing,which is like 'ur a loser, ur dumb,' and 'oh yea? well you're stupid! ( which is supposedly worse.) and ur a sissy too (which is THE worst. like their own S word. usually uttered by the Big Bad Bully)' usually followed by' wahhhhh i want my mommy, Nowwwwwww'
thankfully we didnt reach mommy-stage..lol
but yes they were darn cute. darn is a kidde-swear btw, so this page is now rated PG-7 .liek it wasn rated mature (and mental) before..haha..
anyhowsssss...so yeh, oh they were playin pin the tale on the donkey and apparently one of them decided id make a good donkey so he spent the next 10 minutes tryna touch my bum. and place an imaginary, and im sure brown and hairy, tail to my aforesaid rear end.
yes it does make me sound like sum kind of desperate pedo. No i DID NOT come up with that tail idea it was entirely his own.
ha,,too bad the onli guys i get attention from are like under-10..the other one was that kid at Eid who took a sudden fancy to mi nose. apparently it tasted like strawberries.
that day was awkward in more ways then one. The Farida Sleep was attackin me in small doses throughout, lets just call it The Shot for small, cuz it does attack like u a shot. no seriousli, for like this one moment ull hav this overwhelming desire to sleep.its either that or fainting on the spot..ive had these more and more, mi aunt thinks its weakness and a messed up day pattern and whutever.
nehowww.the otherrrr awkward thing was mi uncle..he decided to pick up his old agenda to act like mi 42 yr old high school crush ..haw haw.. jus the wanna-grab ur hand ,pressin my foot deliberately, tiny lil touchie touchie thing.
Yes, its Gross to the umpteenth degree.
and oh, listen to this conversation i had with mi cousin and him eavesdroppin..we were sitting on a sofa, me at one end , uncle at the other end, with all the kids makin a ruckus and attackin each other with balloons when mi cousin ,moiz, came up to give me a hug. and i told him' but i want a kissie too meeda' ( i call him meeeda) and held out mi cheek
and hes like- nooo
and mi uncles like- i will.
it took all the strength i had not to throw up or smack him in the face, bt nehow..he ws like that all that day which was yesterday and i havent seen him all day today which suits me just fine thank u very much.
i shudn b makin a big deal of all these tiny things in mi life..worse things are happening or have happened to people before.
mi aunt was tellin me how these two colleagues of hers found out they had serious diseases while they were studyin and had to battle it out to get where they are today.
the first- serious diabetes in 4th year of studyin med school.
the second- blood cancer in 3rd year of studyin med school. 6 months before wedding.
and here i go complainin abt whut-the-hell-ever. anyways both of them fought it off, guy 2 had a bone marrow transplant and went ahead wit the wedding (aw, cute) and is still on meds but is doin fine on the whole.
we have so much to b thankful for..like dangggggggggg....haha..
hm..well its like 11 23 right now and i still hav an econ assignment to do so ima shoot off.i stil remember a coupla things to write about which ill prolli fill in later ( we had a long weekend okay.... so more things happened)
anywaysssssss,,me signing off for now.
btw, BIG HOLLA to sandy- i love the fact that you hardly ever get the chance to come online, but when you do you make it a point to come here and read mi blog and comment.
it touches mi heartttt. realli realli realli..good to knw ur sittin in ur lil corner of the world, and still caring and remembering.
thanx sis, i owe u one (hundred and a million times infinity)
lol
and yes i love ya'all too..like SHOO much..haha
byebyeeee..4 now.
eeda.
lotsa x's and lotsa o's.
so i havent written mi utter bs in here for a while, better get crackin on it..haha,i sound like a squirrel./ gettin nutty and crackin..bwaha.
okay lame joke.
so hm, this weekends highlightsssss,,, ( not the hair ones dodos), helped out in the kitchen majorli, went to the mall, took mi cousin to his scout trainin thing, er...bohring..
Oh- this was MAD cool,i NEARLY fainted. its been mi utter desperate ambition to faint , i kid you not..hah..nah its jus fascinating, lol...seriousli..the earliest incident i cn rememebr was mi friend in 3rd grade who fainted at mi feet, and no it wasnt cuz i threw up, she was more overli impressed by my amazing-ness and was her ardent swooning overwhelmed her and she thus, fainted.
tht sounds cheesy even to me, haha..well actualli it was the heat, and u know in pakistan when we say HEAT, we mean Proffesional heat, not the wanna be thing you find lurking in ovens okay, this thing is The Heat to Beat all previous Heats. And that rhymes. Again. its the (loser) poet in me that makes evrything rhyme sumhow.
so neways this girl fainted and the hooplah tht followed afterwards was damn impressive. not to mention she got not one but two icecreams afterwards.yes, TWO. The Injustice. as a lil kid in 3rd grade, that was like a great personal insult to my tiny,ice-cream deprived soul.
haw, not.
thus i embarked on the i-must-faint-too quest, for which, this sunday, i reached a whole new level like thisss close to my lifelong goal.
YES I LOVE MELODRAMA I SAID SO ALREADY OKAY! jeez.
anywayssss,, so basicalli i was sleeping
but first lets define The Farida Sleep. yes this is a whole new series of sleep that deserves a special mention.
Followers of this sleep usualli exhibit the following characterisitcs-
1) covering as much available space as possible in the area in which they are sleeping. this is NOT limited to beds but may include, bus seats, car seats, the backyard, and the all-time shrine of Sleep itself, The Desk In Class.
be it the one at school or college.
2)They DO NOT wake up at any cost, unless trampled by mutant elephants twenty times the regular size being ridden by ear deafening orchestras.
by which point it wud b futile to wake said person as they wud b dead. or in further eternal sleep.
yes that is the all time goal of their life ( mine's tied in with fainting) they sleep either way.
for further details contact the Guru herself.
lol.
so in any case, i was having one of those Sleeps when the doorbell rang and in a zombie like state i ran to open the door.
oh which means i gotta add a sub clause,i woke up ONLI CUZ mi reputation as lazy bum with my aunt was at stake and needed to be remedied.
anyways so i ran to open the door, mi head blank, ..saw mi uncle, remebered im in slightly inappropriate sleep wear, ran upstairs to get a shawl, ran down to er..well. doom..ha.. er
no realli i jus blacked out and cudnt see. couldnt move either, and felt like it was snowing inside mi brain ( yes mi brain follows seasons all on its own). felt like i had no energy, wanted to throw up went in the bathroom, collapsed on the floor, manged to sumhow get out and collapse on the chair, it was like every single joule (is that the right unit ?!?!) of energy i had ws gone, and THAT wud b greattttttttt if it had taken the fat stores in mi body with it which wud mean id hav a flatter tummy but noooooooooooo, it had to leave the silly fat behind for me to work out and lose.and no im jus kiddin here ,im not THAT health obsessed.
neways i whimpered out mi aunts name 5 times before she heard me and i told her like a lil kid,
'khala,i cant see.'
ha. total movieeeee scene. and i dunno why im elaborating this whole thng so much like more of an attention seeking prat bt its not like tht, it just seems so downright hilarious to me right now. anyways so she gave me breakfast whutever and i ate and no, the reason whyyyy the whole black-out thing happened is NOT because i hav sum serious secret bacteria thing conquering mi brain, (god forbid) .. basicalli when u get up, u need to sit up for like 3 seconds to let the blood circulation be okay and go to ur head and whutever. nd i went from flat-out-asleep to running-like-mad. haha..and apparently if u do not let it happen u can faint. THERE finalli i reached the whole point of mi story after goin round in circles, bt it was damn hilarious anyways.
so no i dint faint, i WILL one day u wait and see..i come from a family of Fainters, we're liek the pro's people, i kid u not again. im not much of a kidding kind as u already know. (ha ha ha haaa).
mi mum fainted not one or two, but THREE times at her wedding. yes, imagine the bride walkin down the aisleand going from upright-sobbing to slump down in a heap on the floor.
dramatic, yes.
oh theres pictures of it too. apparently she was too upset and was crying hard and ws hungry and her clothes were damn heavy ( trust me i know.i tried it on and i cudnt walk a step) and to top it all she was like 40 kgs at the time.
ha..oh and she used to faint left right and center before havin mi sis, tho tht wasnt a lot of fun.
haha...so yeh hm,..interesting topic and i think ive exhausted it enuffff
mi aunt was mad at me a few days back cuz i went shoppin w/o tellin her and she saw me in a new top..and she didnt scream nuthin jus said it realli quietly with sumthin like i hate being lied to. i was hurt and guilty, made her a card, and over teh wekkend- helped out much more than required with the house and gave her a nice longgggggggggg pedicure. yay me.
i dont like breakin peoples hearts, ha..im the blunt to ur face but also apologise to ur face kind..i think..dunno. er
anyways..hmm.. so my cousin had his bday, and i babysat/organised/played with/controlled/yelled at/ helped/acted-as-punch-toy for about 10 ultra hyper 9 yr old guys. fun yes. they were sooooo..HYPER , i think i said already, and testosterone fuelled! and i thought puberty didnt hit guys till they were like 15! they were hitting and fighting and punching and calling each other sissies and kiddie-swearing,which is like 'ur a loser, ur dumb,' and 'oh yea? well you're stupid! ( which is supposedly worse.) and ur a sissy too (which is THE worst. like their own S word. usually uttered by the Big Bad Bully)' usually followed by' wahhhhh i want my mommy, Nowwwwwww'
thankfully we didnt reach mommy-stage..lol
but yes they were darn cute. darn is a kidde-swear btw, so this page is now rated PG-7 .liek it wasn rated mature (and mental) before..haha..
anyhowsssss...so yeh, oh they were playin pin the tale on the donkey and apparently one of them decided id make a good donkey so he spent the next 10 minutes tryna touch my bum. and place an imaginary, and im sure brown and hairy, tail to my aforesaid rear end.
yes it does make me sound like sum kind of desperate pedo. No i DID NOT come up with that tail idea it was entirely his own.
ha,,too bad the onli guys i get attention from are like under-10..the other one was that kid at Eid who took a sudden fancy to mi nose. apparently it tasted like strawberries.
that day was awkward in more ways then one. The Farida Sleep was attackin me in small doses throughout, lets just call it The Shot for small, cuz it does attack like u a shot. no seriousli, for like this one moment ull hav this overwhelming desire to sleep.its either that or fainting on the spot..ive had these more and more, mi aunt thinks its weakness and a messed up day pattern and whutever.
nehowww.the otherrrr awkward thing was mi uncle..he decided to pick up his old agenda to act like mi 42 yr old high school crush ..haw haw.. jus the wanna-grab ur hand ,pressin my foot deliberately, tiny lil touchie touchie thing.
Yes, its Gross to the umpteenth degree.
and oh, listen to this conversation i had with mi cousin and him eavesdroppin..we were sitting on a sofa, me at one end , uncle at the other end, with all the kids makin a ruckus and attackin each other with balloons when mi cousin ,moiz, came up to give me a hug. and i told him' but i want a kissie too meeda' ( i call him meeeda) and held out mi cheek
and hes like- nooo
and mi uncles like- i will.
it took all the strength i had not to throw up or smack him in the face, bt nehow..he ws like that all that day which was yesterday and i havent seen him all day today which suits me just fine thank u very much.
i shudn b makin a big deal of all these tiny things in mi life..worse things are happening or have happened to people before.
mi aunt was tellin me how these two colleagues of hers found out they had serious diseases while they were studyin and had to battle it out to get where they are today.
the first- serious diabetes in 4th year of studyin med school.
the second- blood cancer in 3rd year of studyin med school. 6 months before wedding.
and here i go complainin abt whut-the-hell-ever. anyways both of them fought it off, guy 2 had a bone marrow transplant and went ahead wit the wedding (aw, cute) and is still on meds but is doin fine on the whole.
we have so much to b thankful for..like dangggggggggg....haha..
hm..well its like 11 23 right now and i still hav an econ assignment to do so ima shoot off.i stil remember a coupla things to write about which ill prolli fill in later ( we had a long weekend okay.... so more things happened)
anywaysssssss,,me signing off for now.
btw, BIG HOLLA to sandy- i love the fact that you hardly ever get the chance to come online, but when you do you make it a point to come here and read mi blog and comment.
it touches mi heartttt. realli realli realli..good to knw ur sittin in ur lil corner of the world, and still caring and remembering.
thanx sis, i owe u one (hundred and a million times infinity)
lol
and yes i love ya'all too..like SHOO much..haha
byebyeeee..4 now.
eeda.
lotsa x's and lotsa o's.
Friday, November 9, 2007
Emo-ness
i write poetry. that is good
i suck at it. that is bad
and i have absolutely zero care for my reputation- which is why im putting this up.
hahaha.
this is the sketch of something i wrote for. um. lotsa people. or coupla people..oh Who cares who its for.its just about something thats in my head, like a blog, but in po-yem form.
I wore you like a supernatural talisman
round my neck
you lay above my heart
and in it too.
my precious little secret.
Unusual acquaintance
Reason for the smiles
Your quirky come-backs
made my day worthwhile*
Now the chain links are broken
The pendant lies half askew
Heavier than ever,
My loving burden
How will I forget you.
* that's emo okay, thats emo.
i KNOW. i did say its a sketch, and i cudnt make anything rhyme ther.
will alter that soon
aside from that ..day was okay, boring, lonely, typical..okay not typical it isnt usualli lonely but yeh jus didnt run into any real gud frnd today.
aunts pissed at me cuz i went shopping without telling her.Again.
she found out cuz i was wearin a new top.newaysssss...yes its my fault..these little things will happen. i was thinkin id write her a sorry note or sumthin.
things that made smile-saw this dang old asian man in the bus. wrinkles, knobbly knees, sparse hair, the works..sitting and reading a Transformers magazine. yes the robot thing all guys are into at the moment. I was touched, he looked so happy.
Just cuz u get old doesn' mean the child in u's gotta die.
oh- and seein asian babies on buses make me smile tooo.cuz theyre rarely ever crying, and they look gorgeous when they smile.
enuf emoness- haw.im off now...talk to ya'all later- class in 10 hourssss..eeeeeeeeek
love,
eeda.
i suck at it. that is bad
and i have absolutely zero care for my reputation- which is why im putting this up.
hahaha.
this is the sketch of something i wrote for. um. lotsa people. or coupla people..oh Who cares who its for.its just about something thats in my head, like a blog, but in po-yem form.
I wore you like a supernatural talisman
round my neck
you lay above my heart
and in it too.
my precious little secret.
Unusual acquaintance
Reason for the smiles
Your quirky come-backs
made my day worthwhile*
Now the chain links are broken
The pendant lies half askew
Heavier than ever,
My loving burden
How will I forget you.
* that's emo okay, thats emo.
i KNOW. i did say its a sketch, and i cudnt make anything rhyme ther.
will alter that soon
aside from that ..day was okay, boring, lonely, typical..okay not typical it isnt usualli lonely but yeh jus didnt run into any real gud frnd today.
aunts pissed at me cuz i went shopping without telling her.Again.
she found out cuz i was wearin a new top.newaysssss...yes its my fault..these little things will happen. i was thinkin id write her a sorry note or sumthin.
things that made smile-saw this dang old asian man in the bus. wrinkles, knobbly knees, sparse hair, the works..sitting and reading a Transformers magazine. yes the robot thing all guys are into at the moment. I was touched, he looked so happy.
Just cuz u get old doesn' mean the child in u's gotta die.
oh- and seein asian babies on buses make me smile tooo.cuz theyre rarely ever crying, and they look gorgeous when they smile.
enuf emoness- haw.im off now...talk to ya'all later- class in 10 hourssss..eeeeeeeeek
love,
eeda.
Wednesday, November 7, 2007
to BYOL or not to BYOL- and other shtuff.
firstly- i love bein weird- like ya'all didnt know that already.
second-yes that is justification for what lies ahead
third-and yes i love the melodrama since my life lacks so much of it.
Attention all University Students!
According to a very very very old but probably reliable survey, Every 1 in 5 College student is afflicted with the horrible disease of waiting-in-lines.This terrible epidemic manifests itself in many ways- be it for buses, or food, or for your student card, to pay your fees, or to get to an unoccupied computer.
To the latter problem of waiting in lines for an empty computer, SFU has come up with a highly effective solution ( no joke- theres posters of this in mi uni!)
The amazing cure has been named BYOL- bring your own laptop*
and its discovery has been accredited to Professor Common Sense, who prefers to keep to himself and is rarely ever seen. Not even on Blue moons. Specially not on those.
Possible Side-effects include back pain, ridiculous back pain, and oh-my-gah-this-is-bad back pain. for the last one refer to nearest doctor immediately. for those without insurance, or ample insurance, other possible cures include freeze sprays,aspirin and whining. The latter has been known to work wonders.
*CAUTION: Kepp out of the reach of children. This equipment contains enough chips to seriously harm a child. If keys do not continue to work persistently or for more than 3 days or cause pain for more than 5 days, talk to a technician. Use only as directed by Users-Manual.
so that was my random thought for the day..lol..i BYOL-ed all last week and i have massive manifestations of symptom 3 already. itll pass
yes that last paragraph has been copied directly from the back of my tylenol/aspirin box. with a few changes, ofcourse.
anyways apparently BYOL isnt workin for me at the mo, so yeh,, im reduced to standing in lines.as if waiting for the bus 145 wasnt enuf to cause nightmares..
rant aside lifes been goin' good good and er..good.
Today was South Asian Festival at uni,. the Free food ( Ummmmm butter chicken!) more than made up for unitelligable eardrum-crackin, head-splittin,eye-watering level of Bhangara from the speakers.
Fun.
a shorter answer to the question, ' How was your day?' can be said thus.
' I had two cups of coffee today. Not One, But Two.'
That is all.
or not. u know i wont let u off that easily. oh, Shout out to loyal fan and potential girlfriend if i go rainbow rainbow ( that rhymes. unintentionalli) ISHA...lol..im doing this only cuz i know now ull comment on this note now, cuz it got your name on it..
Theres a word for this. They taught me it in school. ( Hakim- if you think you're so damn smart)
Yes Sirree. I am.
The word is Desperate.
( In ur FACE hakim)
and not desperate for members of the male clan, desperate for comments. kinda. not.
its a busy busy world after all ( sing to mickey mouse tune of its a small small world)
Yes, mad Farida is back with a Vengeance. And a Ca-Pow.and a Ca-Bam*. and Ka-Ching^ and a Boom. And Crash.
Confession (i think we're at number) 40-Im clumsy, okay. hence the crash.
* dont ask me why all the Ca's before evrything. i Like Calcium okay. Go figure.
oh all right ill sav u the trouble. read up ur periodic table in chemistry.
^ no im not shallow. but a little ka ching wuld be nice about now. i think it means money.wait, ill ask Shania Twain.
Enuf blabbing- here's another shoutout, to Dad, Happy birthday.Hope you have many many many times infinity more. I miss you. seriously.LOADS. i miss having car-rides where we talked about politics, and other things. I learnt so much from them. Hope ur happy wherver you are.
Lastly, because no mortal deserves so much torture at my hands, here's a poem about the scarf/hijab thing that i found nice.
You think I'm oppressed?Last time I checked dressing like your for sale was oppression
last time I checked being a one-night stand was oppression
last time I checked being a teenage mother was oppression
last time I checked getting STD"s was oppression
last time I checked dressing according to society's standards was oppression
last time I checked starving yourself to be skinny was oppression
last time I checked having the definition of beauty be the number of times you got checked out was oppression
last time I checked looking at unnaturally thin people and longing to be like them was oppresssion . . . but maybe thats just me?
Nuff said. =) Love ya'all..
G'night.
eeda.
second-yes that is justification for what lies ahead
third-and yes i love the melodrama since my life lacks so much of it.
Attention all University Students!
According to a very very very old but probably reliable survey, Every 1 in 5 College student is afflicted with the horrible disease of waiting-in-lines.This terrible epidemic manifests itself in many ways- be it for buses, or food, or for your student card, to pay your fees, or to get to an unoccupied computer.
To the latter problem of waiting in lines for an empty computer, SFU has come up with a highly effective solution ( no joke- theres posters of this in mi uni!)
The amazing cure has been named BYOL- bring your own laptop*
and its discovery has been accredited to Professor Common Sense, who prefers to keep to himself and is rarely ever seen. Not even on Blue moons. Specially not on those.
Possible Side-effects include back pain, ridiculous back pain, and oh-my-gah-this-is-bad back pain. for the last one refer to nearest doctor immediately. for those without insurance, or ample insurance, other possible cures include freeze sprays,aspirin and whining. The latter has been known to work wonders.
*CAUTION: Kepp out of the reach of children. This equipment contains enough chips to seriously harm a child. If keys do not continue to work persistently or for more than 3 days or cause pain for more than 5 days, talk to a technician. Use only as directed by Users-Manual.
so that was my random thought for the day..lol..i BYOL-ed all last week and i have massive manifestations of symptom 3 already. itll pass
yes that last paragraph has been copied directly from the back of my tylenol/aspirin box. with a few changes, ofcourse.
anyways apparently BYOL isnt workin for me at the mo, so yeh,, im reduced to standing in lines.as if waiting for the bus 145 wasnt enuf to cause nightmares..
rant aside lifes been goin' good good and er..good.
Today was South Asian Festival at uni,. the Free food ( Ummmmm butter chicken!) more than made up for unitelligable eardrum-crackin, head-splittin,eye-watering level of Bhangara from the speakers.
Fun.
a shorter answer to the question, ' How was your day?' can be said thus.
' I had two cups of coffee today. Not One, But Two.'
That is all.
or not. u know i wont let u off that easily. oh, Shout out to loyal fan and potential girlfriend if i go rainbow rainbow ( that rhymes. unintentionalli) ISHA...lol..im doing this only cuz i know now ull comment on this note now, cuz it got your name on it..
Theres a word for this. They taught me it in school. ( Hakim- if you think you're so damn smart)
Yes Sirree. I am.
The word is Desperate.
( In ur FACE hakim)
and not desperate for members of the male clan, desperate for comments. kinda. not.
its a busy busy world after all ( sing to mickey mouse tune of its a small small world)
Yes, mad Farida is back with a Vengeance. And a Ca-Pow.and a Ca-Bam*. and Ka-Ching^ and a Boom. And Crash.
Confession (i think we're at number) 40-Im clumsy, okay. hence the crash.
* dont ask me why all the Ca's before evrything. i Like Calcium okay. Go figure.
oh all right ill sav u the trouble. read up ur periodic table in chemistry.
^ no im not shallow. but a little ka ching wuld be nice about now. i think it means money.wait, ill ask Shania Twain.
Enuf blabbing- here's another shoutout, to Dad, Happy birthday.Hope you have many many many times infinity more. I miss you. seriously.LOADS. i miss having car-rides where we talked about politics, and other things. I learnt so much from them. Hope ur happy wherver you are.
Lastly, because no mortal deserves so much torture at my hands, here's a poem about the scarf/hijab thing that i found nice.
You think I'm oppressed?Last time I checked dressing like your for sale was oppression
last time I checked being a one-night stand was oppression
last time I checked being a teenage mother was oppression
last time I checked getting STD"s was oppression
last time I checked dressing according to society's standards was oppression
last time I checked starving yourself to be skinny was oppression
last time I checked having the definition of beauty be the number of times you got checked out was oppression
last time I checked looking at unnaturally thin people and longing to be like them was oppresssion . . . but maybe thats just me?
Nuff said. =) Love ya'all..
G'night.
eeda.
Tuesday, November 6, 2007
update
things r goin ok. i guess
im realli realli angry at sumone right now. HAD to put it out there.
u know when theres no reason to be mad at people, nothing theyve realli done to you, but theyve let u down still. nd it hurts. thats how its like.
its okay if i dont make sense. i never do as it is.
lov u all..u too ish, ha- ther i mentioned u. u can die in peace now.
xoxoxoxo all.
im realli realli angry at sumone right now. HAD to put it out there.
u know when theres no reason to be mad at people, nothing theyve realli done to you, but theyve let u down still. nd it hurts. thats how its like.
its okay if i dont make sense. i never do as it is.
lov u all..u too ish, ha- ther i mentioned u. u can die in peace now.
xoxoxoxo all.
Friday, November 2, 2007
Happiness
- finding people still care
- screw insecurities
DAMN GLAD right now- got a message from sandy AND talked to rima on audio.
could heaven be any sweeter?
(could i be any more emo)
just had to put it out there..
i miss u guys soooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo much
nd luvyah too
nd all tht jazz.
--eeda--
- screw insecurities
DAMN GLAD right now- got a message from sandy AND talked to rima on audio.
could heaven be any sweeter?
(could i be any more emo)
just had to put it out there..
i miss u guys soooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo much
nd luvyah too
nd all tht jazz.
--eeda--
Tuesday, October 30, 2007
examination time.
do unto others as u wud have them do unto u..
or sumthing.
its self examination time, yeh babay!!!
over the past few days- various people hav been telling stuff about me- bad stuff- tht i didnt know. maybe its time i lookie at miself up closely nd make out mi own faults.. and sum other thngs bout me tht i mayb need to change.
sumone once told me u dont become a weaker person for accepting ur mistakes- ur stronger for it.
it sounds damn hard, bt ima do it, cept i dunt think ill mention who said whut, bt jus whuts been said so far and whut i fugure on mi own., theyre mixed, and in no order, and since im absolutely sure noones readin mi blog now but me- i cn write whutever the hell i want.
1- i stereotype- courtesy david choi, mi music idol. in his chat room when i said sumthin bout him bein asian and not liking math was surprising.
2-im harsh at times
3- im clingy
4-i lie at times
5-i hate miself for some things
6-i get shallow
7-im intimidated by others
8-i get mad easily when people find fault in me
9-i am defensive about miself, mi family and friends
10-i dont stand up enuf to people, when i do, i do it too much
11-im not consistent with what i believe in
12-im hypocritical about sum of mi values, i mean sum religious aspects and mi desi/paki values here.
13-im overly sensitive
14-i gossip, but dont judge- and never backstab. ever
15-im scared of letting people down
16- i try and make everyone happy- when i find ive done sumone sum wrong, it drives me insane for days.
17-i worry too much
18- i stress over the most banal things
19- i let people use me
20-i feel hypocritical that even tho i miss home, i wouldnt want to go back and live ther
21-i feel insensitive for being here when i know mi mum needs me
22-i feel like im a burden on mi dad
23-marriage and death frighten the shit out of me
24-i trust others way too easily.
25-i manipulate? mayb... need to think abt this
26-i procastinate
27-i take advantage of the fact that my aunt is nice to me
28-people who are way richer than me, or better looking, or better dressed, or more sophisticated, more talented, more intelligent intimidate me. the richer because i feel theyre comparing themselves with me- and its pity more than genuine friendship.
29-i rant way too much
30-i used to keep mi life private, and that used to eat me up- now its gettin public, i tell people stuff, nd thats scary
31-i hate being vulnerable- telling people ur secrets or ur weak spots makes u vulnerable, among other things.
32-i dont belive in love as it applies to me anymore- i dont see why anyone guy or friend, would see in me to love/like. which is why i pushed abba away,
33-i hav realli bad self esteem
34-i hate guys- not hate but they scare me. prolli cuz of bad experiences. am i over dramatising here? i dunno, or just on the defensive.
35-i hate getting a cold.
36- i hate acne
37-( i love coffee) i hate thinking im wasting my dads money on petty things like coffee and clothes
38- which is why i dread shopping now..it makes me feel horribly guilty
well thts about all i cn think of now- most of em r repeated bt oh well..theyre genuine, which is whut counts i guess..they come straight from the heart- from the gooeey part that hurts the most.
its like laying ur soul open bare- its scary, nd weird at the same time. cuz u want people to know and not know at the same time..its pretty stupid laying it out in the open in any case. which is why im going to add a number 38 now
39-im dumb
but oh well..like i said noones reading..man its 1 23 i ws supposed to work on mi english bt ive been sneezing so much and mi eyes r so blurry i dnt think ill b able to think straight. shud prolli try and get sumthing down at least.
lifes goin on....not much to write now- ill leave it at tht...will rant or write weird stuff or sumthin bout me later on..
gnight fr now,
me
or sumthing.
its self examination time, yeh babay!!!
over the past few days- various people hav been telling stuff about me- bad stuff- tht i didnt know. maybe its time i lookie at miself up closely nd make out mi own faults.. and sum other thngs bout me tht i mayb need to change.
sumone once told me u dont become a weaker person for accepting ur mistakes- ur stronger for it.
it sounds damn hard, bt ima do it, cept i dunt think ill mention who said whut, bt jus whuts been said so far and whut i fugure on mi own., theyre mixed, and in no order, and since im absolutely sure noones readin mi blog now but me- i cn write whutever the hell i want.
1- i stereotype- courtesy david choi, mi music idol. in his chat room when i said sumthin bout him bein asian and not liking math was surprising.
2-im harsh at times
3- im clingy
4-i lie at times
5-i hate miself for some things
6-i get shallow
7-im intimidated by others
8-i get mad easily when people find fault in me
9-i am defensive about miself, mi family and friends
10-i dont stand up enuf to people, when i do, i do it too much
11-im not consistent with what i believe in
12-im hypocritical about sum of mi values, i mean sum religious aspects and mi desi/paki values here.
13-im overly sensitive
14-i gossip, but dont judge- and never backstab. ever
15-im scared of letting people down
16- i try and make everyone happy- when i find ive done sumone sum wrong, it drives me insane for days.
17-i worry too much
18- i stress over the most banal things
19- i let people use me
20-i feel hypocritical that even tho i miss home, i wouldnt want to go back and live ther
21-i feel insensitive for being here when i know mi mum needs me
22-i feel like im a burden on mi dad
23-marriage and death frighten the shit out of me
24-i trust others way too easily.
25-i manipulate? mayb... need to think abt this
26-i procastinate
27-i take advantage of the fact that my aunt is nice to me
28-people who are way richer than me, or better looking, or better dressed, or more sophisticated, more talented, more intelligent intimidate me. the richer because i feel theyre comparing themselves with me- and its pity more than genuine friendship.
29-i rant way too much
30-i used to keep mi life private, and that used to eat me up- now its gettin public, i tell people stuff, nd thats scary
31-i hate being vulnerable- telling people ur secrets or ur weak spots makes u vulnerable, among other things.
32-i dont belive in love as it applies to me anymore- i dont see why anyone guy or friend, would see in me to love/like. which is why i pushed abba away,
33-i hav realli bad self esteem
34-i hate guys- not hate but they scare me. prolli cuz of bad experiences. am i over dramatising here? i dunno, or just on the defensive.
35-i hate getting a cold.
36- i hate acne
37-( i love coffee) i hate thinking im wasting my dads money on petty things like coffee and clothes
38- which is why i dread shopping now..it makes me feel horribly guilty
well thts about all i cn think of now- most of em r repeated bt oh well..theyre genuine, which is whut counts i guess..they come straight from the heart- from the gooeey part that hurts the most.
its like laying ur soul open bare- its scary, nd weird at the same time. cuz u want people to know and not know at the same time..its pretty stupid laying it out in the open in any case. which is why im going to add a number 38 now
39-im dumb
but oh well..like i said noones reading..man its 1 23 i ws supposed to work on mi english bt ive been sneezing so much and mi eyes r so blurry i dnt think ill b able to think straight. shud prolli try and get sumthing down at least.
lifes goin on....not much to write now- ill leave it at tht...will rant or write weird stuff or sumthin bout me later on..
gnight fr now,
me
Sunday, October 28, 2007
revelations and running.
yeh- whut ive discovered is tht il jus write shorter posts, cuz noones readin this
bt this way wen im growin old and mouldy , hopefulli nt that mouldy- i cn come here nd rememebr when i did wht.
big accomplishment of today- im starting a new self improvement plan..HA yes me..
i went running out today in the freezing cold and the rain..obv got soaked bt honestly ive not run this madli in mi life..if i did, i wud b sporting more running medals, as it were i was always last in running..so never ran out of shame..but today i ran and ran and ran,,about 24 blocks and back....oh actualli it ws a lil more...bt oh well- yes it was exhilirating- a lil painful round the lungs and a lil tingly round the toes and calves bt i DID it..shourv and mi aunt and uncle had absolutely bet on me never being able to do it- so in ur FACE.ha..
nd second up- ever since mi dad said ive been spending too much..i actualli sat down and made a plan..i spend 2.77 dollars on llunch evy day- pizza and a drink and 2.9 on coffee. thts about 112 dollars per month.. well bye bye to all tht, mayb not coffee tho- lol..gna make home made lunchs, and eat snacks and fruits instead, and get a job too..if i do get a job ill hav more money fr lunch and stuff....hm...
dad never said abt cutting down expenses- mayb he ws too embarrased to..bt he did say make a budget and follow it..which is coming to about 320 dollars per month..lunch and grocery and stationary and pocket money included.... needs to go down
neways enuf of the boring details- ill write gain hopefulli soon abt whut happened at lisas partyyy..right now, gta study for a math midterm..eeeeeeeyuck!
lol...
luv,
me
ps- not luv me-i dunt luv me- no no, i hateee me..lovin me wud be..weird..and... arrogant and vain.i meant love u, by me... lame..random..yes..i know.
bt this way wen im growin old and mouldy , hopefulli nt that mouldy- i cn come here nd rememebr when i did wht.
big accomplishment of today- im starting a new self improvement plan..HA yes me..
i went running out today in the freezing cold and the rain..obv got soaked bt honestly ive not run this madli in mi life..if i did, i wud b sporting more running medals, as it were i was always last in running..so never ran out of shame..but today i ran and ran and ran,,about 24 blocks and back....oh actualli it ws a lil more...bt oh well- yes it was exhilirating- a lil painful round the lungs and a lil tingly round the toes and calves bt i DID it..shourv and mi aunt and uncle had absolutely bet on me never being able to do it- so in ur FACE.ha..
nd second up- ever since mi dad said ive been spending too much..i actualli sat down and made a plan..i spend 2.77 dollars on llunch evy day- pizza and a drink and 2.9 on coffee. thts about 112 dollars per month.. well bye bye to all tht, mayb not coffee tho- lol..gna make home made lunchs, and eat snacks and fruits instead, and get a job too..if i do get a job ill hav more money fr lunch and stuff....hm...
dad never said abt cutting down expenses- mayb he ws too embarrased to..bt he did say make a budget and follow it..which is coming to about 320 dollars per month..lunch and grocery and stationary and pocket money included.... needs to go down
neways enuf of the boring details- ill write gain hopefulli soon abt whut happened at lisas partyyy..right now, gta study for a math midterm..eeeeeeeyuck!
lol...
luv,
me
ps- not luv me-i dunt luv me- no no, i hateee me..lovin me wud be..weird..and... arrogant and vain.i meant love u, by me... lame..random..yes..i know.
of october.
.bmp)
( pictures deleted due to personal reasons!_)
these pics r frm the few events tht happened in mi life this month..yes i love dramatising things, so ther...haha..the first ones frm a girls onl halooween/eid party i went too..it was a dress, nd i ws obv gypsy..i tried to get the skirt in the pic bt cudnt- bt it ws actualli quite nice- despite me hating wearing skirts...yeh im wearin short sleeves onli cuz it was an all girls party..see, innocent lil ol' me as always...
(ahaw ahaw ahaw..oxymoron)
second ones obv frm eid..mi cousin was tryna take a photo of me squashed in betweeen 2 other auntis with his own camera...yeh he's got a digital cam all of his own- one of those earliest types.....i managed to cut miself out sumhow,..from the original picture i mean..,haha.i look like SUCH an aunti..miself..........andi love the way the whole picture is focused on mi hands., cuz poor thng, mi cousins short..so obv yeh...hm..
ok fine, so i wasnt THAT squashed between them.
third- this ones to prove tht the rather expensive facial i had on eid for the first time in mi life did actualli manage to make mi skin seem clearer. which i thought ws mission impossible all on its own- bt well u guys cn b better judges.
according to mi aunt- ' ur glowing' ..tht compliment quite made up for mi sucki math midterm mark
no im not shallow..lol
mre on this later,,
tc ..luvyah alllll..u gys need t put up recent-er pics of u too..
dnt blame me fr crappy vocab tht im makin up miself- its 1 am.
missin u,
eeda
xoxo.
Saturday, October 20, 2007
Blah part2.- and a lil poetry.
aite aite im not good at comin up with original blog titles- bt when ur at number 31, ur thinkin, w/e dude..noones realli readin ths neway-
ths ones bout'..nuthin much in fact..l0l.....bt it goes to prove that shinkins was right when he told me id be on the late rebels..nd i do it..dun worry im not goin round dressed in black with tattoos and piercings nd all- ive jus started slackin off..majorly- the shame .. ?
nah i jus dont worry 'bout grades like i used to.. can u imagine? me? the all-conscietious grannie who used to harass you all into studyin more..aite, not quite lyk that but heck i did care...to the extent id b like a steamin kettle 'bout to erupt from the pressure night before the actual test or exams or w/e..thngs chahngeeeeee life moves on...blam di blah. - no dont ask me wher that came from.
finished readin 'never let me go'. chilled the blood in me( which surprisingly, i do have plenty of- despite nearly evryone always askin me whther im made entirely of bones...shcrew em, go take a few more bio lessons..Ha..im bein' mean- dont worry, its onli on the net...mild as a ,,er,,lamb? talcum powder? in real life, any other given day..u know it)
armie might remmeber this- we once saw this korean movie at A-ram's place in grade 9 or 10 ish..it was called, 'my sassy girl' neways ive been tryin ever since then to catch hold of tht but cudn find it newher nd i finalli did- its available online on joox.net...nd imgettin the strangest deja vu feelin like ive already mentioned ths fact on mi blog..wuhever- jus to let u all know, it's DAMN awesome and prolli tying in with 'a walk to remmeebr' for mi favourite movvie spot...realli good, Anddddddd heres the best part- its based on reall life blogs written by ths guy called Kim Ho-sik..anyways do try nd watch it, itll crack u up and teach u a few important lessons along the way.
andddd...well nothing more is up...ther was the Terry Fox day here a while back- liek a canadian national hero.. he was a student at SFU, mi uni ( Yeahhhhhhhhhh!!!) had a car crash, got cancer and a leg amputation at 18..and decided to run across Canada for cancer awarness- raise money for charity etc.. he couldnt do it and stopped half way thru due to health complications, and passed away at age 22.... this is why they hav a Terry Fox run day every year, and obv SFU is one of the biggest sponsers of it. newaysssss,, all this crap to basicalli get to this, i was surprised at how many people turned up for it, even those superficial ones.- i wrote a poem bout this years' terry fox run. and yeh it seems a little heartless and prolli shows me in a wary, insensitive light if nothing else..bt heck we've been thru weirder crap and i knw ur not gnna sever ties with me cuz of ths..so im safe- lol..
here goes;-
well that was..er..that....hm- im gna put this other one upto- give u guys a whole dose of mi..poetic inspirations- or lack thereof-
ths one is based on how the net's become mi escape zone- i go online, talk to people abt random stuff , rant wutever..nd turn back to reality with a fake lil smile...i wrote ths round the time when id been havin a lil trouble with mi uncle- u all knw abt that....i actualli wrote it right aftr id talked for a while with this chizzat friend- bt it can apply to u guys too..
ps- thers a part abt life bein hell in ther- it AINT like tht nemore..poetry jus makes thngs seem sadder, ill explain after.
aite enuf bitterness ya'all...ha- yeh im highly prejudiced gainst fake ppl, as the first peom prollli said...nd highly inspired by masks and fake faces, as learnt from TS Elliot's Preludes we did in high school.- u know me..lol
no the thing is its easier to write abt anger nd hatred than happiness.- for me atleast..u cant describe the feeling a street full of red leafed trees gives u, or the squirmy thng in the pit of ur tummy when sumone gives u a compliment- or the slight weighty lil ache in ur heart when u see a grey blue sky raining down- or how u erupt into smiles when u see a small chubby chinese baby on the train laughin so hard his eyes are slits ad all u see r big pink balls of his cheeks...yeh- here i go bein mush- bt these r hapy feelings- nd i cnt make poetry of em yet...mayb i will..one day.
its not apparently impossible- this next one ( its the last one i promise!) is written by a frnd from GYLC- called dorothy wagner..as ull see, shes amazingly talented, and highly ignorant of the fact..shes beautiful too, in a very oriental way, and in a long distance relationship with a guy she met at GYLC. this poems about him loving her, and i think its a work of art.
yeh shes far far better than i am- anyways, so there it is, fakeness, and daily struggles and masks and love all in one day.. Woah. talk about major emo-ness,,,ha, nah im jus a typical teen..
neways, guess im goin to end this now- got to study- the last 2 hours were spent sittin down quietly answerin mi uncle's questions- he came in for a lil chit chat cuz mi aunts not round, obv.
dont worry, he hasnt gotten physical in 3 weeks now-which is good.
nuthin much more to write- i knw u guys r dead busy with ur work ( hint hint rima nd armie if u evr read this) bt drop in a lil msg abt whuts up nd all occasionalli- it makes mi day..realli realli.
come to think, ill go and write a poem abt tht..l0l
take care all,
xoxoxo.
ths ones bout'..nuthin much in fact..l0l.....bt it goes to prove that shinkins was right when he told me id be on the late rebels..nd i do it..dun worry im not goin round dressed in black with tattoos and piercings nd all- ive jus started slackin off..majorly- the shame .. ?
nah i jus dont worry 'bout grades like i used to.. can u imagine? me? the all-conscietious grannie who used to harass you all into studyin more..aite, not quite lyk that but heck i did care...to the extent id b like a steamin kettle 'bout to erupt from the pressure night before the actual test or exams or w/e..thngs chahngeeeeee life moves on...blam di blah. - no dont ask me wher that came from.
finished readin 'never let me go'. chilled the blood in me( which surprisingly, i do have plenty of- despite nearly evryone always askin me whther im made entirely of bones...shcrew em, go take a few more bio lessons..Ha..im bein' mean- dont worry, its onli on the net...mild as a ,,er,,lamb? talcum powder? in real life, any other given day..u know it)
armie might remmeber this- we once saw this korean movie at A-ram's place in grade 9 or 10 ish..it was called, 'my sassy girl' neways ive been tryin ever since then to catch hold of tht but cudn find it newher nd i finalli did- its available online on joox.net...nd imgettin the strangest deja vu feelin like ive already mentioned ths fact on mi blog..wuhever- jus to let u all know, it's DAMN awesome and prolli tying in with 'a walk to remmeebr' for mi favourite movvie spot...realli good, Anddddddd heres the best part- its based on reall life blogs written by ths guy called Kim Ho-sik..anyways do try nd watch it, itll crack u up and teach u a few important lessons along the way.
andddd...well nothing more is up...ther was the Terry Fox day here a while back- liek a canadian national hero.. he was a student at SFU, mi uni ( Yeahhhhhhhhhh!!!) had a car crash, got cancer and a leg amputation at 18..and decided to run across Canada for cancer awarness- raise money for charity etc.. he couldnt do it and stopped half way thru due to health complications, and passed away at age 22.... this is why they hav a Terry Fox run day every year, and obv SFU is one of the biggest sponsers of it. newaysssss,, all this crap to basicalli get to this, i was surprised at how many people turned up for it, even those superficial ones.- i wrote a poem bout this years' terry fox run. and yeh it seems a little heartless and prolli shows me in a wary, insensitive light if nothing else..bt heck we've been thru weirder crap and i knw ur not gnna sever ties with me cuz of ths..so im safe- lol..
here goes;-
their lives are pivoted round blurs of
monotonous trends, monotony of friends,
the mall their
inflamer, their extinguisher,
and of all these
unsubstantial lives,
a single day spent running
for terry fox
fulfills their
debt to humanity.
miraculously makes them
human.
monotonous trends, monotony of friends,
the mall their
inflamer, their extinguisher,
and of all these
unsubstantial lives,
a single day spent running
for terry fox
fulfills their
debt to humanity.
miraculously makes them
human.
well that was..er..that....hm- im gna put this other one upto- give u guys a whole dose of mi..poetic inspirations- or lack thereof-
ths one is based on how the net's become mi escape zone- i go online, talk to people abt random stuff , rant wutever..nd turn back to reality with a fake lil smile...i wrote ths round the time when id been havin a lil trouble with mi uncle- u all knw abt that....i actualli wrote it right aftr id talked for a while with this chizzat friend- bt it can apply to u guys too..
ps- thers a part abt life bein hell in ther- it AINT like tht nemore..poetry jus makes thngs seem sadder, ill explain after.
ur a stranger- emo and lame
but we're both stuck in a terrible game.
toughing it out; pretending we're fine
behind the curtains, we're hanging by a line
wound round our necks, it chokes but we
laugh and just talk about cookies
and pretzels, and silly things
we put aside our misgivings
and laugh it off, and act cool
ur the drama, im the fool
and once our silly rants are done,
turn back to reality, our masquerades begun
our smiles erased, return to hell
and crawl back inside our shell.
but we're both stuck in a terrible game.
toughing it out; pretending we're fine
behind the curtains, we're hanging by a line
wound round our necks, it chokes but we
laugh and just talk about cookies
and pretzels, and silly things
we put aside our misgivings
and laugh it off, and act cool
ur the drama, im the fool
and once our silly rants are done,
turn back to reality, our masquerades begun
our smiles erased, return to hell
and crawl back inside our shell.
aite enuf bitterness ya'all...ha- yeh im highly prejudiced gainst fake ppl, as the first peom prollli said...nd highly inspired by masks and fake faces, as learnt from TS Elliot's Preludes we did in high school.- u know me..lol
no the thing is its easier to write abt anger nd hatred than happiness.- for me atleast..u cant describe the feeling a street full of red leafed trees gives u, or the squirmy thng in the pit of ur tummy when sumone gives u a compliment- or the slight weighty lil ache in ur heart when u see a grey blue sky raining down- or how u erupt into smiles when u see a small chubby chinese baby on the train laughin so hard his eyes are slits ad all u see r big pink balls of his cheeks...yeh- here i go bein mush- bt these r hapy feelings- nd i cnt make poetry of em yet...mayb i will..one day.
its not apparently impossible- this next one ( its the last one i promise!) is written by a frnd from GYLC- called dorothy wagner..as ull see, shes amazingly talented, and highly ignorant of the fact..shes beautiful too, in a very oriental way, and in a long distance relationship with a guy she met at GYLC. this poems about him loving her, and i think its a work of art.
13
I am nothing but an ordinary stone statue
Whom you endlessly try to coat with melted pure gold
(I may not be completely tangible without you
For your arms protect me from all hazards I behold)
I am not quite blessed with anything but living breath
That I attempt to bring the best out of and survive
(Yet you are there to take away those objects I dread)
Even if often unrequited, for me you strive)
I am composed of flaws, and faults, and imperfections
Splashed with tears and decked with pain, enough of which to bleed
(A stereotype of the world and all its nations
Although you do know that, you never seem to take heed)
I am a speck of dust in the face of universe
What the skies refer to as a vernacular scene
(I do not understand, you chose to be doomed and cursed
It is I you love; me with which your life shall begin
yeh shes far far better than i am- anyways, so there it is, fakeness, and daily struggles and masks and love all in one day.. Woah. talk about major emo-ness,,,ha, nah im jus a typical teen..
neways, guess im goin to end this now- got to study- the last 2 hours were spent sittin down quietly answerin mi uncle's questions- he came in for a lil chit chat cuz mi aunts not round, obv.
dont worry, he hasnt gotten physical in 3 weeks now-which is good.
nuthin much more to write- i knw u guys r dead busy with ur work ( hint hint rima nd armie if u evr read this) bt drop in a lil msg abt whuts up nd all occasionalli- it makes mi day..realli realli.
come to think, ill go and write a poem abt tht..l0l
take care all,
xoxoxo.
Friday, October 19, 2007
ta da da!
(found this cute - love makes udo weird thngs.. we change to keep em happy eh? sweet idealistic goo..but sweet nonetheless)
the ta da da is in honour of the new pic i put up..its fairly recent, bout a week back,,,and whuts freaki is tht i dnt look 18, i look 88....i look sooooooooooooooo old..yeh rimu i knw im goin 'gainst ur wnna look at the innocent farida wish, bt too bad! bwahahhaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa ( im bein evil- in honour of halloween, and due to many we-need-to-b-mean-to-get-ahead-in-life inspired speeches with ezra, mandana and coupla others.
whut hav i been upto? exploring the multi layered levels of sexuality...not mine u idiots- for mi english course..haha...u rememebr how we used to squirm in our seats when atkins told us that babies wer not infact bought in by old white geese carryin em in blankets. far from it...in fact so far, that it involved nothing to do with geese,..no geese at all, unless , iunno thers sum weird mutant human tryin it with geese...
thts too dirty a thought- lemme leave it at that.
so yeh, well we've been readin all sorts of novels for mi english class-,,, i realised tht there might b a little adult material we'd cover, and the first alarms went off when we discussed subtle sexuaity in pride and prejudice..that got a right laugh in lecture- guys will b guys. the lil ol' alarm started buzzin jus a lil more when we did a detective thriller involving 2 gay ganstahs ( happy lil fellows ,, really..very very gay..lame joke..) and pronography and two sex crazed women hittin on the detective throughout the entire novel- who ends up turnin out to b half gay himself..
by the time our prof announced we'd b doin brokeback mountain, the alarm was screechin..deafenin realli..which is why in the picture u cant see one of mi ears ( its swollen and bein attacked by these lil frankstein lookin things goin ' shit shit shit,,sorry, shite shite shite- hav u no damn respect lady, is this whut u came here for?!' and so on.
the third novel is called never let me go- by ishiguro..yup it has some sex too, bt not too graphic. Amazingggg novel tho- id completly recommend it to u guys to read.
neways, so mi next english essay basicalli discusses gay-ness and whther its a goodor bad thing, homophobia, marriage, love, hetro vs homosexuality ..so on...souund sick? yeh- to me too...
anyways- whut hav i been upto recently- eid came.. the usual excuse for desi aunties to fret over how nice ur clothes look nd wher u got them from- tho not alot of em did that here..but they DID yap on about kids, and unco-operative husbands, and recipes for food, and how so and so was being a bitch to so and so. the men did politics and religion..big surprise.
oh, and i got an admirer over eid...adorable fellow...sat me on the whole evening kissing virtualli every part of mi face he could- but had a strong inclination towards mi nose.
ha- scare u did i? he's 1 and a half years old..l000ll....adorable adorable thng,,
oh btw, next day i had a zit (read lovebite or hicky) at the bridge of the nose- all that kissin i tell u...lol
do u rememebr how anas and rt had a strange fascination with hickeys back in high school? nd anas lockin himself up with alex in the girls bathroom nd makin thse sounds..nd the taunts he got to hear from mr.shinkins...good ol'd timessssss...
oh before i go on- the post two posts below this is.... one hell of a..er....emo thing...yeh..i went a leeeeeeeeeetle over board i know - i can erase it but then , i wnna rememebr allll mi good ,mi bad, mi ugly and mi ultra pathetic i-shudve-had-a-muslce-seizure-before-writing-this-shit posts. lol...and hey dont blame me , i wrote that thing after watchin brokeback and a particularly longgggggggg day...felt like ranting- er....this blogs about ranting..it says so in the title......
movin on........lifes goin okay..mi uncles tamed down and hope he remains tht way with me (*crosses arms fingers legs eyes toes,...er...knots hair too,,just in case*)
and..hmmmmm..unis okay..i dont think i suck as much, which realli helps in the day to day confrontations with ppl ...got a coupla frnds, or honestly, got a couple people to say hey,hows ur day too before movin on.......i still meet up with ez, whos a right darling itell u...always hilarious, always fun....evryone else has moved on..no i dont care abt parick even tho for those of u tht dont know, i went to his convocation and acted camera woman all day in the frickin cold and rain and landed with a massive fever for the next 2 days..everything for a good cause...charity realli..nuthin more.
anddddddddddddddddddddd.......im in an awesomeli amazing la la la la la mood, after 4 months of claimin im depressed nd whut not, u guys shud rejoice..l0l..by giving out...er..oh, laffy taffy...which is mi biggest discovery of this summer...that, and mocha with whipping creams....aint nuffin aye mocha car n't sorlve i tell yah. lurvly thirng, lurvelyyy..
soo,,well yeh im runnin outa thngs to say,,as u might hav noticed past the second sentence...actualli thers way too much to tell but i cant b bothered....oh btw, u remmeber all thse chizzat ppl i mentioned earlier? theyre all dead and gone- bwahaha...dnt talk to noone now, cept faisal mayb now and then with an extra jaan ( kinda like darling) at the end of evry sentence....js foolin round...oh, and shourav...whose aite...i mean he's a decent person... yeh.... too bad all the good people u find are either in storybooks (not referin to guys in brokeback...i mean decent people like..oh wait, i dont mean gay peopel rnt decent..i take it back (before ezra the completly anti-homophobic comes and kills me with an ax) .....example of decent people....er,, like...,harry potter say...okay bad example, think of ur own) or theyre on the net, or friends of friends..or sumthin...ha. life is a bitch ( ANDDDDDDDDD then u marry one..thank u thank u thank u shinkins for that delightful insight..i wonder whut bar hes lying drunk in,,,im sure he makin up for those 2 alcohol-free years in libya)...
aite ive barbbled mre n enuf' ............me's off now....btw, the post little things is about ..hm, do u know, they sell these hilarious bumper stickers here to put at the back of ur cars? well i got the sayings off em, well most sayings...lame i know,, bt they are downright funny..u can google em up for more, and dear dear facebook has an application under that name...bumper stickers i mean.
thats all for now- stupid song suggestion of the day;- one republic ft timbaland- Apologize...nice nice song...
shoo-ing off- buh byeeeeeee
luvya'all..in a very lesbo way i tell u ( ima marry ya'all one day u wait and see!)
adeeda (--------> new nickname by 3 yr old girl i babysat one day)
Thursday, October 18, 2007
Little Things
firstly-here's to Breast cancer research Month! YAH
I'm a girl...and im lovin' it..
I am not infantile, you stinky poopie head. This post is just for the random thngs that strike a chord with me ...and lucki for u, they have commentary with em too..SEE..i BOTHER doin; these Little things for u and u guys dont..How Mean...!
WARNING- some of these needs brains.
LoL..
enjoy.
for armie, whose been tryin so hard to work out evrything in life-
when at first u dont succeed, call it version 1.0
when at first u dont succeed, call it version 1.0
slogan for ultra environment friendly Canadians
Save the trees-wipe ur butt with an owl
To all my friends that like rock music.
Rock is dead.
Long live Paper and Scissors.
Rock is dead.
Long live Paper and Scissors.
Alcohol and Calculus dont mix.
Dont drink and Derive.
To rima's mumu..kinda...the moo jus reminded me of mumu.
Too err is human, to moo bovine... --
(Some thing ive been doing a lot lately and you probably shouldn, which u are by reading this BS)------------------------ Procastinate Now.
One of the best ones ever;-
Practise Safe Lunch- Use a Condiment.
Practise Safe Lunch- Use a Condiment.
some thing i should have told patrick when i first met him.
ON YOUR MARK!
GET SET!
GO AWAY!
to mi hottie friends..cuz u guys are awesome,gorgeous, amazing,beautiful, bretty,
pretty girls turn heads
my girls break necks.
pretty girls turn heads
my girls break necks.
to discovering mi exam is actualli monday day after instead of next week monday-
Warning- dates on calendar are closer than they appear.
Whutever the followin says, Slacking still Rules!
getting on ur feet means getting off your Butt!
getting on ur feet means getting off your Butt!
( this one was witty)to the weird Math Ta who screamed at me for no real reason-
Earth is Full. Go Home.
to recent lectures by family that im not healthy enuf-
if you are what you eat- im fast, cheap and easy.
if you are what you eat- im fast, cheap and easy.
to what is my real purpose in life
.
Chaos.Panic.Disorder
My work here is done.
To answering 'what's up?'
Above all else- Sky.
Above all else- Sky.
To something shinkins would have prolli said-
No one dies a virgin- life screws us all.
Without me, it's jus Aweso
A reply to mi post- why sucide isnt an option., and also a probably reason why my friend Aum died so young.The more you complain- the longer God makes you live.
to My friends.. me gang.
Friends are like Bras. Close to the heart
and always there for support..
( and damn hard to find the right one! =))
Friends are like Bras. Close to the heart
and always there for support..
( and damn hard to find the right one! =))
to my rant. oh, and prolli to shourav too.
I feel better after i wine a little.
To Peter horban- this is wht ur philosophy class REALLI taught me.
I doubt- therefore i might be.
well thts all mi crap for now- hope it bought even the tiniest flicker of a smile on ur face...sumtimes , thts all we need..I doubt- therefore i might be.
To all guys- reason why im single.
Better than your Ex
and Better than your Next.
to immaturity and ISM...and the way Bilal said that last word.
its all fun and games till sumone gets hurt.
To American president.
More Trees
Less Bush.
Better than your Ex
and Better than your Next.
To all guys, reason why Im single part 2.
My knight in shining armor turned out to be a Loser in aluminuium foil.
My knight in shining armor turned out to be a Loser in aluminuium foil.
to immaturity and ISM...and the way Bilal said that last word.
its all fun and games till sumone gets hurt.
-then it's Hilarious.
(i wish i cud tell mi dad- and future husband)
I understand the concept of cooking and cleaning
Just not as it applies to me.
I understand the concept of cooking and cleaning
Just not as it applies to me.
To American president.
More Trees
Less Bush.
To Red Bull adds,
TAKE REVENGE
SHIT ON A PIDGEON.
TAKE REVENGE
SHIT ON A PIDGEON.
.to what dad shudve said all those times we nag him about smokin
If my smoking bothers you- Don't Breathe
If my smoking bothers you- Don't Breathe
and u cn thank me for tht and the awesome colours i used later.
luvu ya'all
eedums.
Wednesday, October 17, 2007
Introspection.
hey to the ghostly net souls lurkin on vacant people's blogs..seems like noone but them r readin this anyway..
hm...i jus felt like ... a lil weird for no apparent reason so i had to write all mi crap down/..like i used to before ..i realised there was so mani lil thngs i used to write down tht i dont nemore, which is sad..nd i dnt feel like tellin rima and armie to come on here and force em to read this shit cuz theyre busy and im busy and frankly- whyd they read, and ..why shud anyone read? do i write for people to read? a lil sutthin inside gnaws at me..screamin im hurt, i need to b healed...ths isstuff u get from hollywood movies, not from mi life..... we all gotta work on our ownselves.... i understand tht maybe they cant b there for me as much as they used to be,..its been a damn long time coming.-, which doesn make it less harder... i knew it wud..the fact tht therd b a time when id b nursing mi own blues,... when ud need to remind people to make them ask u if u were okay, so u cud tell em tht mayb ur not....all we want is sumone to listen, and those used to do it for me all the time, mum and dad, r too far away for me to bother them..and the other half, mi rimu mi armie and sandra and dj, theyre all far away too...i wonder if they cry out as much as i do? am i ther for them? heaveb knows i try...i leave msgs and ask if they wnna talk..is tht enuf...
but its goin away whutever it was....i used to defy it whenevr neone told me this, when mi aunt remarked or mi mum did tht they lost touch with their high school buddies too,they all moved off and suddenly they got busy..that the thought, ill write em an email tomorow, or day after or so on stretched into weeks , months and years until they all faded from each other lives and jus lingered on as sum long lost sweet memory, more and more parts of which were always fading into nothingness......its happening to me alreaddy,----- mi memories of ISM blur, it seems like a long lost dream......a reality tht never was, an acceptance which i had that seems unreal....
i feel unaccepted now at uni, loneli..i stand out in a crowd, b it in econ or math or english or at scoials cuz im in a scarf...i dont go newher. i dont meet neone. i get intimidfated by new folk..the onli ones i hang out with r outcasts like me- its ISM grade 10 all over again... with not the bullying but the silent no this time..its more like all of em givin this vibe of whut the hell do u think u r tryin so hard to b sumone ur not? go back to the uneducated crowd of weirdos like u , ur not wanted here..and tht uneducated crowd refers to people of the MSA,
true theyre not all bad bt im too shy to find out which r the ones tht rnt bad- i feel like i aint worth them.....and theres still the typicality there tht freaks me out..the same controversies, the same u can b seen with so and so but not with so and so ,,the same lil prejudices even within the thing..i feel weird round them too, left out..mi faith not strong enuf to match theirs, neither mi rebellion...i sit on the edge and smile- occasionalli make mi witty remark and fade into the wall....the silence and the nothingness is overwhelming at times- the fact tht i can never b normal, i cn never b them drives me insane at times...even with the friends tht i hav managed to make, im always critical of miself, always judgin ..i dont dress as cool and expensive as them, i look weird and unsophisticated in my manners and mi speech .. which makes me get tongue tied often , run out of things to say...or get over zealous, talk fast to get as ,uch out to mayb say sumthin right in the process which wont scare em off..which obv is the undoing of it all.
ths is leadin me to cling onto those people tht accepted me when i didn care abt how others thought of me- nd thers onli one person like tht- ezra....i feel sumtimes im too clingy- he never complains..he always turns up when i wanna meet up for lunch . makes time out to talk, to share.. we dnt laugh as much, bt its gud noonethe less..i feel like justifying miself to him each time, tryin hard to b the incredible person so he doesn walk off..
i guess i shud mention biancas part here..even if jus for the sake of those ghosts tht're reading..bianca ignored me once in the hall, but i thought tht was mayb due to her not seeing me,as weak a theory as tht sounds as the hall was quite empty..nevertheless she saw me on the bus sum days later, and sat as far away frm me as possible- i blamed ths to her not having seen me again evn tho i was at the back raised end of the bus, which is higher than the first half and is most visible when u first enter the bus.....neways when the bus did stop, she got out , and rushed right past me...... at a point she was onli centimetres away frm wher i was..i had been rushing too so tht either one of us wud get ahead without noticing the other, to alteast keep the pretntion tht we ddin see each other..bt then the aisle was too narrow, nd we were neck and neck.i gave up, stopped to say hie bt she rushed right on, like she'd never heard mi feeble hie, never seen the bewilderment on mi face.
perhaps this, among other incidents, made my thinking worse.. monica not bein as enthusiastic to see me afterwards, alot of ppl frm the previous semester forgettin me or perhaps ignorin me..ezra keeps sayin tht this is normal custom here, bt its hard to belive tht..i guess im jus new.
so there is me- nd im slowli coming to terms with this...im lonely bt i dnt let tht get me down. . not as much as before....it aches badly at times, bt most times its okay......
i console miself thinking if i was a so called 'normal' person, mayb i wudn b friends with me either..cuz the me they might see acts all nerdy and clumsy ....which goes to show how shallow i realli am, if i wudn b friends with me , who will? which is why i shudn judge others..mayb..
ive given up the whole dating/crush thng too..when we were younger we loved havin small crushes on guys and thinking up these half baked incidenes wher theyd be madly in love with us too, nd we'd start dating and itd b bliss...jus the companionship nd knowin sumone thought u were good and beautiful.....
.but now , i know if i was a guy, i wudnt date me either...who am i fooling, thers plenty to choose from.... and we're all lookin for perfection, rnt we? who'd b frnds, let alone date, sumone as messed up i am? sumone whose so far lost , theyre dull and boring
i feel like nuthing..a face in the crowd. i hav no real talent, which is whut is important to people here..sumthing u can impress them with....mi biggest 'talent' is tht ive travelled alot. apparently.
i obv dont tell all this to people, cuz one- i wud seem like a seriousli psychilogicalli disturbed ( aka mental), attention seekin prat of a person when im not that......they already think tht girls in scarves r weird nd restricted..i dont want to tell them abt how i feel and how i think and justify tht more- give them one more reason to move away...second, i dont want them, as in mi friends mostly, to tell me to shut up, its lies.. sumone will fall in luv , things will turn round..cuz its wont...i know it as clear as day..its not pessimism, its realism....yeh its frustating, knowin tht theyll never care....i talk to guys, i hav quite a few guy friends now- bt they all say the same thng- hook me up with a coupla ur frnds? ur goin to a party? gemme sum numbers! theyd meet mi cool lookin friends and say, i cant imagine u hav such hot friends..yeh surprises u doesn it? an ugly nerd with a pretty lil friend... so on..nd i knw theyre not referrin to me, im jus the nice lil bussy whse good to talk to......nd i used to get hurt by this, and in a way i still do...is it envy? jealousy? pride? shallowness...i dunno... bt like i said now, im bein realistic.... im closing off mi dreams, of evryhthing........
.mi utopia is goin to the lil place in the back of mi mind where i keep all those other unrealistic happy memories of me which i knw are innocent and naive ad foolish..bt happy all the same.
the dreams abt price charmin..fallin in luv,, leadin mi love with a guy who loved me and i loved back, not sum handpicked idiot i had to clean after and worship...thts way too much in the future,.........for now, jus bein gud and happy and popular without bein shallow......not caring whut people think, knowing people didn care abt how i looked or acted or wher i was frm or mi colour or race or religion..but they do.......does wanting all tht i do mean ur shallow? i dnt wnna b that i jus want back whut i had..at sjc, at ism....it was acceptance mayb....confidence...
.. i nevr had to hang mi head down, always met everyone in the eye, helped people out, there for the extra hug, to wipe a tear..now i think im jus an embarrasment to whoever im in contact with- which explains why i stay away frm people...particularly, good lookin, or clever or confident people....
yeh.....people want normality, we're always , even unconsciousli, attracted to those who are confident and funny and hav great lives.....a memory clicks in mi head..thats how i used to be too...when it didnt matter how i looked cuz it was normal then...now i care,. mountain out of molehill but i do.....ph wellm i think im havin an off day cuz usualli its not tht bad.....bt i feel im losing all of me slowly..days wher im not confident at all, i need to check the mirror over and over again to make sure i dont look like those people on streets tht look like they jus came out of villages....i look decent, hair tucked in , lips not too chapped, eyeliner not smeared down mi cheeks, pen marks not on mi chin, smell nice ,shirt stretched decent, tummy in, jacket in order,......im vain? mayb..am i shallow? probabli.. am i jus bein girly...more thn prlli..i hate it..i wnna not care..i wnna throw clothes on me in the mornin nd knw it doesn matter cuz i look fine...i dont hav to dress up nd spend an hour thinkin abt whut to wear tht wont look odd...im so materialistic, and i rant about girls who wear designer brands...cud i b learnin how to understand them..how ironic..they taught me mi own lesson....., im scared im letting them down more than anything, im scared people dont want to b friends with me cuz theyre embarrased to b caught in public with me. newaysssssss....ive ranted enuf for today..not tht neone will notice whther its paragraphs oor jus a period.
in any case, this was mi truth..laid bare...it makes me vulnerable, i hate being this open, i like it too.......but mi head hurts now..ill return to watchin brokeback mountain for mi english class,, and continue this later..who cares neways eh..i posted 50 new pics of mi new life in canada on our class website, no sign anyone noticed yet.
im bein overli sentimental again..bt like One Republic says in one pf the greatest songs ive hrd- its too late to apologize.
im me..sadly...ill jus work on tht..
hm...i jus felt like ... a lil weird for no apparent reason so i had to write all mi crap down/..like i used to before ..i realised there was so mani lil thngs i used to write down tht i dont nemore, which is sad..nd i dnt feel like tellin rima and armie to come on here and force em to read this shit cuz theyre busy and im busy and frankly- whyd they read, and ..why shud anyone read? do i write for people to read? a lil sutthin inside gnaws at me..screamin im hurt, i need to b healed...ths isstuff u get from hollywood movies, not from mi life..... we all gotta work on our ownselves.... i understand tht maybe they cant b there for me as much as they used to be,..its been a damn long time coming.-, which doesn make it less harder... i knew it wud..the fact tht therd b a time when id b nursing mi own blues,... when ud need to remind people to make them ask u if u were okay, so u cud tell em tht mayb ur not....all we want is sumone to listen, and those used to do it for me all the time, mum and dad, r too far away for me to bother them..and the other half, mi rimu mi armie and sandra and dj, theyre all far away too...i wonder if they cry out as much as i do? am i ther for them? heaveb knows i try...i leave msgs and ask if they wnna talk..is tht enuf...
but its goin away whutever it was....i used to defy it whenevr neone told me this, when mi aunt remarked or mi mum did tht they lost touch with their high school buddies too,they all moved off and suddenly they got busy..that the thought, ill write em an email tomorow, or day after or so on stretched into weeks , months and years until they all faded from each other lives and jus lingered on as sum long lost sweet memory, more and more parts of which were always fading into nothingness......its happening to me alreaddy,----- mi memories of ISM blur, it seems like a long lost dream......a reality tht never was, an acceptance which i had that seems unreal....
i feel unaccepted now at uni, loneli..i stand out in a crowd, b it in econ or math or english or at scoials cuz im in a scarf...i dont go newher. i dont meet neone. i get intimidfated by new folk..the onli ones i hang out with r outcasts like me- its ISM grade 10 all over again... with not the bullying but the silent no this time..its more like all of em givin this vibe of whut the hell do u think u r tryin so hard to b sumone ur not? go back to the uneducated crowd of weirdos like u , ur not wanted here..and tht uneducated crowd refers to people of the MSA,
true theyre not all bad bt im too shy to find out which r the ones tht rnt bad- i feel like i aint worth them.....and theres still the typicality there tht freaks me out..the same controversies, the same u can b seen with so and so but not with so and so ,,the same lil prejudices even within the thing..i feel weird round them too, left out..mi faith not strong enuf to match theirs, neither mi rebellion...i sit on the edge and smile- occasionalli make mi witty remark and fade into the wall....the silence and the nothingness is overwhelming at times- the fact tht i can never b normal, i cn never b them drives me insane at times...even with the friends tht i hav managed to make, im always critical of miself, always judgin ..i dont dress as cool and expensive as them, i look weird and unsophisticated in my manners and mi speech .. which makes me get tongue tied often , run out of things to say...or get over zealous, talk fast to get as ,uch out to mayb say sumthin right in the process which wont scare em off..which obv is the undoing of it all.
ths is leadin me to cling onto those people tht accepted me when i didn care abt how others thought of me- nd thers onli one person like tht- ezra....i feel sumtimes im too clingy- he never complains..he always turns up when i wanna meet up for lunch . makes time out to talk, to share.. we dnt laugh as much, bt its gud noonethe less..i feel like justifying miself to him each time, tryin hard to b the incredible person so he doesn walk off..
i guess i shud mention biancas part here..even if jus for the sake of those ghosts tht're reading..bianca ignored me once in the hall, but i thought tht was mayb due to her not seeing me,as weak a theory as tht sounds as the hall was quite empty..nevertheless she saw me on the bus sum days later, and sat as far away frm me as possible- i blamed ths to her not having seen me again evn tho i was at the back raised end of the bus, which is higher than the first half and is most visible when u first enter the bus.....neways when the bus did stop, she got out , and rushed right past me...... at a point she was onli centimetres away frm wher i was..i had been rushing too so tht either one of us wud get ahead without noticing the other, to alteast keep the pretntion tht we ddin see each other..bt then the aisle was too narrow, nd we were neck and neck.i gave up, stopped to say hie bt she rushed right on, like she'd never heard mi feeble hie, never seen the bewilderment on mi face.
perhaps this, among other incidents, made my thinking worse.. monica not bein as enthusiastic to see me afterwards, alot of ppl frm the previous semester forgettin me or perhaps ignorin me..ezra keeps sayin tht this is normal custom here, bt its hard to belive tht..i guess im jus new.
so there is me- nd im slowli coming to terms with this...im lonely bt i dnt let tht get me down. . not as much as before....it aches badly at times, bt most times its okay......
i console miself thinking if i was a so called 'normal' person, mayb i wudn b friends with me either..cuz the me they might see acts all nerdy and clumsy ....which goes to show how shallow i realli am, if i wudn b friends with me , who will? which is why i shudn judge others..mayb..
ive given up the whole dating/crush thng too..when we were younger we loved havin small crushes on guys and thinking up these half baked incidenes wher theyd be madly in love with us too, nd we'd start dating and itd b bliss...jus the companionship nd knowin sumone thought u were good and beautiful.....
.but now , i know if i was a guy, i wudnt date me either...who am i fooling, thers plenty to choose from.... and we're all lookin for perfection, rnt we? who'd b frnds, let alone date, sumone as messed up i am? sumone whose so far lost , theyre dull and boring
i feel like nuthing..a face in the crowd. i hav no real talent, which is whut is important to people here..sumthing u can impress them with....mi biggest 'talent' is tht ive travelled alot. apparently.
i obv dont tell all this to people, cuz one- i wud seem like a seriousli psychilogicalli disturbed ( aka mental), attention seekin prat of a person when im not that......they already think tht girls in scarves r weird nd restricted..i dont want to tell them abt how i feel and how i think and justify tht more- give them one more reason to move away...second, i dont want them, as in mi friends mostly, to tell me to shut up, its lies.. sumone will fall in luv , things will turn round..cuz its wont...i know it as clear as day..its not pessimism, its realism....yeh its frustating, knowin tht theyll never care....i talk to guys, i hav quite a few guy friends now- bt they all say the same thng- hook me up with a coupla ur frnds? ur goin to a party? gemme sum numbers! theyd meet mi cool lookin friends and say, i cant imagine u hav such hot friends..yeh surprises u doesn it? an ugly nerd with a pretty lil friend... so on..nd i knw theyre not referrin to me, im jus the nice lil bussy whse good to talk to......nd i used to get hurt by this, and in a way i still do...is it envy? jealousy? pride? shallowness...i dunno... bt like i said now, im bein realistic.... im closing off mi dreams, of evryhthing........
.mi utopia is goin to the lil place in the back of mi mind where i keep all those other unrealistic happy memories of me which i knw are innocent and naive ad foolish..bt happy all the same.
the dreams abt price charmin..fallin in luv,, leadin mi love with a guy who loved me and i loved back, not sum handpicked idiot i had to clean after and worship...thts way too much in the future,.........for now, jus bein gud and happy and popular without bein shallow......not caring whut people think, knowing people didn care abt how i looked or acted or wher i was frm or mi colour or race or religion..but they do.......does wanting all tht i do mean ur shallow? i dnt wnna b that i jus want back whut i had..at sjc, at ism....it was acceptance mayb....confidence...
.. i nevr had to hang mi head down, always met everyone in the eye, helped people out, there for the extra hug, to wipe a tear..now i think im jus an embarrasment to whoever im in contact with- which explains why i stay away frm people...particularly, good lookin, or clever or confident people....
yeh.....people want normality, we're always , even unconsciousli, attracted to those who are confident and funny and hav great lives.....a memory clicks in mi head..thats how i used to be too...when it didnt matter how i looked cuz it was normal then...now i care,. mountain out of molehill but i do.....ph wellm i think im havin an off day cuz usualli its not tht bad.....bt i feel im losing all of me slowly..days wher im not confident at all, i need to check the mirror over and over again to make sure i dont look like those people on streets tht look like they jus came out of villages....i look decent, hair tucked in , lips not too chapped, eyeliner not smeared down mi cheeks, pen marks not on mi chin, smell nice ,shirt stretched decent, tummy in, jacket in order,......im vain? mayb..am i shallow? probabli.. am i jus bein girly...more thn prlli..i hate it..i wnna not care..i wnna throw clothes on me in the mornin nd knw it doesn matter cuz i look fine...i dont hav to dress up nd spend an hour thinkin abt whut to wear tht wont look odd...im so materialistic, and i rant about girls who wear designer brands...cud i b learnin how to understand them..how ironic..they taught me mi own lesson....., im scared im letting them down more than anything, im scared people dont want to b friends with me cuz theyre embarrased to b caught in public with me. newaysssssss....ive ranted enuf for today..not tht neone will notice whther its paragraphs oor jus a period.
in any case, this was mi truth..laid bare...it makes me vulnerable, i hate being this open, i like it too.......but mi head hurts now..ill return to watchin brokeback mountain for mi english class,, and continue this later..who cares neways eh..i posted 50 new pics of mi new life in canada on our class website, no sign anyone noticed yet.
im bein overli sentimental again..bt like One Republic says in one pf the greatest songs ive hrd- its too late to apologize.
im me..sadly...ill jus work on tht..
Tuesday, September 11, 2007
There and back again.
okay..ive been meaning to do this for a while now but cudnt find the time or more honestly, was gettin intimidated by the amount of stuff to tell..haha..and u know me, i love doin the details and analyses and all of evry tiny lil thing ......soo yeh....lemme start..
well firstly, heres a shout out to sandra, u were right bout patrick all along..he is a selfish arse of a person, and thats when im being nice in my description..basicalli whut happened before i left is that i found out sum nasty lil secrets bout him, including the fact that one of the reasons him and his ex werent getting on well was cuz she was pregnant...nd he was the daddy ofcourse..nd well she got an abortion , yeh shes online 17 and yes hes an arse..no more details but not cause im embarrassed to write it, but because im finalli over,,i realli dont give a rats flying arse ( which i wudnt give to anyone in any case) but yeh...i was going over my previous blogs and i saw just how much id mentioned him and how hes not worth it, ..callous insensitive selfish wart of a person..i cant imagine how thick id hav been to even bother a little about him..
anywayss,, so the trip to europe was great...a little messy, cuz thats how all family trips are, but nuthing i cant handle..or actualli at time i did wonder why the hell i bothered to come but then there was times that more than made up for it..i loved snuggling into mum and dj and all....the first 5 nights we spent in paris, lived just off the champs d'elseeys ( rong spelling i know) ..btw im not writing this to bore u guys with stuff,, i wanted a record so i rememebr whut we did..cuz i completly forgot about all mi other trips..lozl.....first day we took an open bs tour and went round, stopping off at sacre couer- highest place in paris ..a hill with a lil church on top,,and notre dame with its famous bells and stained glass paintings..those two were the onli important ones i remeber..we went to eiffel tower and arc del' truimphe one sum other day..this is obv not in chronolgical order...the arc was 300 steps one way trip, so 600 up and down,,it was cicular stairways inside a pillar and it was hot and stuffy and dizzying..the eiffel tower was 700 steps one way so 1500 both ways..need i say more? excrucciatingli long climb..but it spread a sense of shared endurance and everyone going up was givin each other motivational speeches...so it was perfectly normal to tell the occasional passing stranger sweatily puffin along , ' 432 steps more to go..we can DO THIS!!! ''
.amazin view from the top..worth the climb? i dunnoothe top was actualli swaying in the wind,, tht was freaki..anyways the next day or one of the days we jus went downtown and went shopping and then me and mi bro and sis watched oceans 13 in this cinema opposite our hotel,..while mum and dad went to a fashion show on mums request..lolz..the things they do for love...
one day we went to the louvre..saw most of the million paintings in ther..saw mona lisa and frankli, had to look twice to make sure it was her..it was jus a small lil square on a huge wall with a huge crowd..and its gt the grandest painting covering an entire wall just oppsite it..personalli, that other painting deserved mroe merit than mona lisa..lol..
anyways,,went to disneyland..sat on all rollercoasters..mi fav one was this insane lil finding nemo one where they plummet u around a building in pitch black darkness from weird heights and 360 turns ..all rollercoasters were indoors, funnily enuf..anyways, that day dad was realli pissed off iremeber..cnt remeebr the reason...at night there was an amazing fireworks show,, realli magical,,they had this one wher a tiny golden dot went up and exploded into golden dust falling down..literalli like dust.....
the way bacck was long and it was the onli train back to paris so it was crampeeeed...we managed to get two seats and the whole family kinda jus dissolved onto it, we were that tired..we had gone round the whoole park in every section in one day,,no mean task....so mum saat with dj on her, dad with me and nizam on either leg...i dont think ill ever forget tht....
whut else...one day we went to th palaces of louie the 16th in versailles with huge manicurd gardens..according to ma, (she got confused) the palacce was created by King Henry the Louie..that was funny..lol..there was place there thats called the hall of mirrors,,beautiful beautiful plac..ill try and post pics soon..
then we drove to brussels, rented a car first..nizam did the navigating and i happily let him take over cuz 1-that meant i cud sleep at the back and 2-it meant dad and nizam wwere actualli interacing and itd giv dad a reason to b proud of of nizam
in brussels we shopped, clothes were cheap there..and the one remarkable place we saw ws called mini europe which was actualli mini representations of all the notable buildings in europe..so a small eiffel tower and a tower of pisa and all..scaled 1:25..there we got key chains made with our family photo in them, i still hav one..good comfort during boring math lectures,,
.i was lookin for sum other symbol/souvenir of belgium i cud take with me tht id rememebr , like an eiffel tower keychain from paris.....and well..its known for..
wait for this-
a child
yeh cute lil child....but it doesn end here..
its a child
Naked
Pissing
(wait therss more)
holding his
u know whut..
yes,,,THATS their special symbol..ull find statues of it in all the souvenir shops and all the keychains.....and i thought, hmm..i DONT wnna b recognised as the pedo carrying a keychain of a pissin kid round ...so i didnt buy it..i mean i DO hav a rep- and it doesn involve naked males of any age..and i wanna leave mi rep that innocent lil way , thank u all very much....
then we went to amsterdam...the famous red light district- the centre of naughty lil women ( well not lil certainly) its called red light cuz prostitues sit in their windows at night with red light illuminating them from behind in the red light district..no, we obv did not go theru pervs......
the hotel we had there was amazin, cept the bathroom was in the corridor....and mi bed was right next to these huge french windows wihich looked out onto this avenue thru which there was a canal,,,not a dirty one, liek a small stream with tiny bridges across it and all..romantic yes.....the whole city is made of canals cuz its reclaimed lland- it was all sea before and they kinda jus built on top of it....because of which, they wanted to squeeeze the whole city in the smallest place available..BECAUSE ( yeh its like a bloodi chain reaction thing, hear me out) the taxes on property are on how wide the house is..so the house is thin and longggggg ( like me..) and since they didnt wanna waste the space they have, they make huge rooms with petite corridors and many floors, and practicalli vertical stairs..like ladders..
anyways we went to a couple places there....anne franks house too...tht was fun, and a little sad to actualli see it after havin read so much abt it so long ago..it made it more alive- seein her room and all..more chilling..more reall.....
went to the windmills too..tht was funn..pretty..wher daddy got mummy a diamond ring, such bling bling..tht rhymesssssssss ya'alll...hahahah,,such love...
neways..then we went to germany....wher in germany i cant rememebr...lol...THATS how boring it was..waste of a day..saw sum random stuff again..lol
whut i do rememebr is that our hotel was at the begiiniing of a road which housed all the worst kind of sex theatres and weird shops..u know whut kind i mean...with neon red signs advertising..er....human species of a more female nature..er..........it wasnt deliberate..it ws jus this weird coincidence..europe is a VERY naughty place.......not for us innocent kids, oh no no no....
and then we went out lookin for food ..this is still in germany.....and v cross a restaurant called..desi frnds wait for this- shahid da dhaba....LIKE omg...in bloodi frankfurt too..Wait,.. another OMG....late drum roll..i jus remmebered where we were ..frankfurttttttttt.......YAY......lightbulbs and tubelights and friggin all kinds of bulb-y lights and light lights Flashingggggg...cuz im so damn smart... ( those flashin lights come from evrywher)
do i make any sense? NO?
good..that means im back to normal agin..YAY...
anyway. dhaba paki food in the middle of the night in bloodi europe-------> (oily) heavenly Bliss......
cost us 30 euros and a morning full of weird stomach aches all round...
went to switzerlandddddddddddddd..zurich was boring,...and dramatic..picture this- lost family, tired, sleepy, reaches foreign land in the dead of the night after driving round in circles for gudness knows-,and is informed that all hotels are sold out cuz of sum conference in city and the onli ones u get are the 700 euros suites or the cheap shady hotels in the weird part of town....whthe latter is where we eneded up stayin..lol...and it was rainy and gettin the stuff from the car to the hotel was so annoying...and then we go in and passa a bar,,dint go thru it, passed the door,,and im SURE there were sum strippers int there cuz all the guys were goin oh yeahhhhhhhh and they were so drunk..it was scary and exhilirating in a weird kind of way..
the room were damn tiny and the stars creaked...it was liek in a hollywood movie..that night me and mi sis and dad slept in one room and mi bro and mum in another ..cuz thery were 2 floors apart and all night guys, or sorry, men ( i HAD to make the distinction cuz if they were guys id hit on em...kinda..not...lolllllll) ran up and down the wooden floors makina racket outside ...ther was sum nice church / square there..beautiful river flowin thru..at night we ate out and dad ws liek go back to the car and ill b back , get sum cigarettes and all..and on the way sum teens passsed highly drunk and mi mum panics, rushes us into the car and locks all doors, bless her..shes neevr realli encountered drunk people before so i guess it intimidates her...lol
anyways..then we drove onto a town called interlakkan..and i see why it is that people call this place a slice of heaven..rolling green meadows and clear blue skies and huge green torquoise blue lakes..it was beautifull...in interlakkan we went to jungfraujoch- the highest mountain in europe..by train..we thought theyd giv extra warm sweaters or sumthin on top, and thought we dressed warm- we go up there and the temperatures like......-4!!! YUP......in the middle of summer..our butts froze- but , they thankfulli didnt fall off and i still hav sum left as proof..tht was nasty..LOL.....and mi nose became non existenet..and mi toes went on vacation and dint come back till 4 hours after....cudnt feel em..
to reach the top of the moutain u hav to go throw it..inside , it was all snow and ice scuptures,,and they were beautiful cept we were too cold to stand and stare, jus clicked a few pics and ran the hell outta ther,,,,,the top of the moutain was..high..and there was snow..YES..for the first time in mi life i made a snowball and threw it at mi bro....fun.....theres apparently a bollywood restaurant too , famous cuz all big indi celebs hav been ther..its costs a HUGE amount of money so we went to hav a look, BUT, no sharukh khan or ashwariya waitin to greet us..so we got offended and decided to stick to our cheese pizza back in town......lol..
thennn we went explorin the towns around..it was realli pretty..dad went paragliding early in the next mronin,,accordin to him , his initial thoughts were- '
''what am i doin? i hav lil kids to look after,? whut if sumthin happens to me...omgggggg..im panickin...''
haha....BUT..its actualli quite safe..and we were there to see him land..and we was dman excited..in the end he decided to send us too..and mi, was it fun...they gave us sum weird boots and jackets to wear and a helmet...loaded us in a van with sum other people.....reach the top of a mountain and ask us to choose a partner or theyd choose u..a ( very hot very ute lemme tell u..) guy caled pete chose me ..( i hav pictures as proof, he WAS hot) they strap u in..and u runnnnnnnnnn of the edge of a mountain..and then ur airborne.. and its SO cool.....he took me high to the clouds..and it was so pretty..then above the lakes..then we did this air roller coaster thng and at one point ur like lying flat against the sky staring at the city down..it was gorgeous and exhilarating..he tok pics of up while we were there and ima scan them and put them up as soon as icann..
whut else..
we went to geneva..and we were sittin at the edge of this lake..and khadeeja thought, mi mi , my shoe needs a wash..so proceeded to drop it into the lake..yes,, how embaraasing....well it was a mistake lol..the nthere were iron rings built into the side of a wall that led down to the lake- and nizam played romeo and climbed down to the muck among the swans and got the shoe out...bloodi romantical....lol
yes, swans..beautifullllllllllllllllllllll creatures with desperately ugly feet...
anywaysssssssss....then we drove round round round lookin for sum hotel to giv us a room for few hours cuz we had to fly out the same night and needed a place to pack..finalli got this petite room with a single tiny bed on which first, me and mum and nizam and dj managed to cram..we were all lying sideways and so close there was no room to breathe..eventualli under dj and nizams wiggling, we decided it wasn workin so dad and nizam and dj sumhow crammed on there ( yes miracles do happen) and me and mum acked for a while then slept on the floor..
then we got up went to the airport..did the whole crying drama....well mama did and then she left and they came back to wave over and over again...and well once they did their final byes , i did a lil ''water fountain' show of mi own.....
then i waited for mi fligth and proceeded to travel here wth no amazin encounters with anyone on the plane..unfortunately...
in montreal tho, there was alil mess up with mi luggage, i was supposed to pick it up and re-sign it in for vancouver but didnt know ..so the airlines said theyd hav to pass it thru customs themselves and if i wwaited for em to do it mi flight wud leave and ill b stuck in montreal and the best thng was to forget the luggage and theyd send it to vanc later...i was distraught- had had a terribly long flight and the flight attendant was highly rude- in an understatement..so i had water fountain scene part 2.....yes yes, im out to cure all water famines in this world..UN, recruit me now...
anywayssss..thts all for mi trip for now..i know its a lil rushed and way boring, but i HAD to do it for miself aite..u need not read it..if ur still readin- AWWWWWWWWW,,u loyal loyal BORED friends of mine...lol.......the next blog is gnna b an update on whut ive been upto snce i got here...
all mi crapp for now
much love to all...
well firstly, heres a shout out to sandra, u were right bout patrick all along..he is a selfish arse of a person, and thats when im being nice in my description..basicalli whut happened before i left is that i found out sum nasty lil secrets bout him, including the fact that one of the reasons him and his ex werent getting on well was cuz she was pregnant...nd he was the daddy ofcourse..nd well she got an abortion , yeh shes online 17 and yes hes an arse..no more details but not cause im embarrassed to write it, but because im finalli over,,i realli dont give a rats flying arse ( which i wudnt give to anyone in any case) but yeh...i was going over my previous blogs and i saw just how much id mentioned him and how hes not worth it, ..callous insensitive selfish wart of a person..i cant imagine how thick id hav been to even bother a little about him..
anywayss,, so the trip to europe was great...a little messy, cuz thats how all family trips are, but nuthing i cant handle..or actualli at time i did wonder why the hell i bothered to come but then there was times that more than made up for it..i loved snuggling into mum and dj and all....the first 5 nights we spent in paris, lived just off the champs d'elseeys ( rong spelling i know) ..btw im not writing this to bore u guys with stuff,, i wanted a record so i rememebr whut we did..cuz i completly forgot about all mi other trips..lozl.....first day we took an open bs tour and went round, stopping off at sacre couer- highest place in paris ..a hill with a lil church on top,,and notre dame with its famous bells and stained glass paintings..those two were the onli important ones i remeber..we went to eiffel tower and arc del' truimphe one sum other day..this is obv not in chronolgical order...the arc was 300 steps one way trip, so 600 up and down,,it was cicular stairways inside a pillar and it was hot and stuffy and dizzying..the eiffel tower was 700 steps one way so 1500 both ways..need i say more? excrucciatingli long climb..but it spread a sense of shared endurance and everyone going up was givin each other motivational speeches...so it was perfectly normal to tell the occasional passing stranger sweatily puffin along , ' 432 steps more to go..we can DO THIS!!! ''
.amazin view from the top..worth the climb? i dunnoothe top was actualli swaying in the wind,, tht was freaki..anyways the next day or one of the days we jus went downtown and went shopping and then me and mi bro and sis watched oceans 13 in this cinema opposite our hotel,..while mum and dad went to a fashion show on mums request..lolz..the things they do for love...
one day we went to the louvre..saw most of the million paintings in ther..saw mona lisa and frankli, had to look twice to make sure it was her..it was jus a small lil square on a huge wall with a huge crowd..and its gt the grandest painting covering an entire wall just oppsite it..personalli, that other painting deserved mroe merit than mona lisa..lol..
anyways,,went to disneyland..sat on all rollercoasters..mi fav one was this insane lil finding nemo one where they plummet u around a building in pitch black darkness from weird heights and 360 turns ..all rollercoasters were indoors, funnily enuf..anyways, that day dad was realli pissed off iremeber..cnt remeebr the reason...at night there was an amazing fireworks show,, realli magical,,they had this one wher a tiny golden dot went up and exploded into golden dust falling down..literalli like dust.....
the way bacck was long and it was the onli train back to paris so it was crampeeeed...we managed to get two seats and the whole family kinda jus dissolved onto it, we were that tired..we had gone round the whoole park in every section in one day,,no mean task....so mum saat with dj on her, dad with me and nizam on either leg...i dont think ill ever forget tht....
whut else...one day we went to th palaces of louie the 16th in versailles with huge manicurd gardens..according to ma, (she got confused) the palacce was created by King Henry the Louie..that was funny..lol..there was place there thats called the hall of mirrors,,beautiful beautiful plac..ill try and post pics soon..
then we drove to brussels, rented a car first..nizam did the navigating and i happily let him take over cuz 1-that meant i cud sleep at the back and 2-it meant dad and nizam wwere actualli interacing and itd giv dad a reason to b proud of of nizam
in brussels we shopped, clothes were cheap there..and the one remarkable place we saw ws called mini europe which was actualli mini representations of all the notable buildings in europe..so a small eiffel tower and a tower of pisa and all..scaled 1:25..there we got key chains made with our family photo in them, i still hav one..good comfort during boring math lectures,,
.i was lookin for sum other symbol/souvenir of belgium i cud take with me tht id rememebr , like an eiffel tower keychain from paris.....and well..its known for..
wait for this-
a child
yeh cute lil child....but it doesn end here..
its a child
Naked
Pissing
(wait therss more)
holding his
u know whut..
yes,,,THATS their special symbol..ull find statues of it in all the souvenir shops and all the keychains.....and i thought, hmm..i DONT wnna b recognised as the pedo carrying a keychain of a pissin kid round ...so i didnt buy it..i mean i DO hav a rep- and it doesn involve naked males of any age..and i wanna leave mi rep that innocent lil way , thank u all very much....
then we went to amsterdam...the famous red light district- the centre of naughty lil women ( well not lil certainly) its called red light cuz prostitues sit in their windows at night with red light illuminating them from behind in the red light district..no, we obv did not go theru pervs......
the hotel we had there was amazin, cept the bathroom was in the corridor....and mi bed was right next to these huge french windows wihich looked out onto this avenue thru which there was a canal,,,not a dirty one, liek a small stream with tiny bridges across it and all..romantic yes.....the whole city is made of canals cuz its reclaimed lland- it was all sea before and they kinda jus built on top of it....because of which, they wanted to squeeeze the whole city in the smallest place available..BECAUSE ( yeh its like a bloodi chain reaction thing, hear me out) the taxes on property are on how wide the house is..so the house is thin and longggggg ( like me..) and since they didnt wanna waste the space they have, they make huge rooms with petite corridors and many floors, and practicalli vertical stairs..like ladders..
anyways we went to a couple places there....anne franks house too...tht was fun, and a little sad to actualli see it after havin read so much abt it so long ago..it made it more alive- seein her room and all..more chilling..more reall.....
went to the windmills too..tht was funn..pretty..wher daddy got mummy a diamond ring, such bling bling..tht rhymesssssssss ya'alll...hahahah,,such love...
neways..then we went to germany....wher in germany i cant rememebr...lol...THATS how boring it was..waste of a day..saw sum random stuff again..lol
whut i do rememebr is that our hotel was at the begiiniing of a road which housed all the worst kind of sex theatres and weird shops..u know whut kind i mean...with neon red signs advertising..er....human species of a more female nature..er..........it wasnt deliberate..it ws jus this weird coincidence..europe is a VERY naughty place.......not for us innocent kids, oh no no no....
and then we went out lookin for food ..this is still in germany.....and v cross a restaurant called..desi frnds wait for this- shahid da dhaba....LIKE omg...in bloodi frankfurt too..Wait,.. another OMG....late drum roll..i jus remmebered where we were ..frankfurttttttttt.......YAY......lightbulbs and tubelights and friggin all kinds of bulb-y lights and light lights Flashingggggg...cuz im so damn smart... ( those flashin lights come from evrywher)
do i make any sense? NO?
good..that means im back to normal agin..YAY...
anyway. dhaba paki food in the middle of the night in bloodi europe-------> (oily) heavenly Bliss......
cost us 30 euros and a morning full of weird stomach aches all round...
went to switzerlandddddddddddddd..zurich was boring,...and dramatic..picture this- lost family, tired, sleepy, reaches foreign land in the dead of the night after driving round in circles for gudness knows-,and is informed that all hotels are sold out cuz of sum conference in city and the onli ones u get are the 700 euros suites or the cheap shady hotels in the weird part of town....whthe latter is where we eneded up stayin..lol...and it was rainy and gettin the stuff from the car to the hotel was so annoying...and then we go in and passa a bar,,dint go thru it, passed the door,,and im SURE there were sum strippers int there cuz all the guys were goin oh yeahhhhhhhh and they were so drunk..it was scary and exhilirating in a weird kind of way..
the room were damn tiny and the stars creaked...it was liek in a hollywood movie..that night me and mi sis and dad slept in one room and mi bro and mum in another ..cuz thery were 2 floors apart and all night guys, or sorry, men ( i HAD to make the distinction cuz if they were guys id hit on em...kinda..not...lolllllll) ran up and down the wooden floors makina racket outside ...ther was sum nice church / square there..beautiful river flowin thru..at night we ate out and dad ws liek go back to the car and ill b back , get sum cigarettes and all..and on the way sum teens passsed highly drunk and mi mum panics, rushes us into the car and locks all doors, bless her..shes neevr realli encountered drunk people before so i guess it intimidates her...lol
anyways..then we drove onto a town called interlakkan..and i see why it is that people call this place a slice of heaven..rolling green meadows and clear blue skies and huge green torquoise blue lakes..it was beautifull...in interlakkan we went to jungfraujoch- the highest mountain in europe..by train..we thought theyd giv extra warm sweaters or sumthin on top, and thought we dressed warm- we go up there and the temperatures like......-4!!! YUP......in the middle of summer..our butts froze- but , they thankfulli didnt fall off and i still hav sum left as proof..tht was nasty..LOL.....and mi nose became non existenet..and mi toes went on vacation and dint come back till 4 hours after....cudnt feel em..
to reach the top of the moutain u hav to go throw it..inside , it was all snow and ice scuptures,,and they were beautiful cept we were too cold to stand and stare, jus clicked a few pics and ran the hell outta ther,,,,,the top of the moutain was..high..and there was snow..YES..for the first time in mi life i made a snowball and threw it at mi bro....fun.....theres apparently a bollywood restaurant too , famous cuz all big indi celebs hav been ther..its costs a HUGE amount of money so we went to hav a look, BUT, no sharukh khan or ashwariya waitin to greet us..so we got offended and decided to stick to our cheese pizza back in town......lol..
thennn we went explorin the towns around..it was realli pretty..dad went paragliding early in the next mronin,,accordin to him , his initial thoughts were- '
''what am i doin? i hav lil kids to look after,? whut if sumthin happens to me...omgggggg..im panickin...''
haha....BUT..its actualli quite safe..and we were there to see him land..and we was dman excited..in the end he decided to send us too..and mi, was it fun...they gave us sum weird boots and jackets to wear and a helmet...loaded us in a van with sum other people.....reach the top of a mountain and ask us to choose a partner or theyd choose u..a ( very hot very ute lemme tell u..) guy caled pete chose me ..( i hav pictures as proof, he WAS hot) they strap u in..and u runnnnnnnnnn of the edge of a mountain..and then ur airborne.. and its SO cool.....he took me high to the clouds..and it was so pretty..then above the lakes..then we did this air roller coaster thng and at one point ur like lying flat against the sky staring at the city down..it was gorgeous and exhilarating..he tok pics of up while we were there and ima scan them and put them up as soon as icann..
whut else..
we went to geneva..and we were sittin at the edge of this lake..and khadeeja thought, mi mi , my shoe needs a wash..so proceeded to drop it into the lake..yes,, how embaraasing....well it was a mistake lol..the nthere were iron rings built into the side of a wall that led down to the lake- and nizam played romeo and climbed down to the muck among the swans and got the shoe out...bloodi romantical....lol
yes, swans..beautifullllllllllllllllllllll creatures with desperately ugly feet...
anywaysssssssss....then we drove round round round lookin for sum hotel to giv us a room for few hours cuz we had to fly out the same night and needed a place to pack..finalli got this petite room with a single tiny bed on which first, me and mum and nizam and dj managed to cram..we were all lying sideways and so close there was no room to breathe..eventualli under dj and nizams wiggling, we decided it wasn workin so dad and nizam and dj sumhow crammed on there ( yes miracles do happen) and me and mum acked for a while then slept on the floor..
then we got up went to the airport..did the whole crying drama....well mama did and then she left and they came back to wave over and over again...and well once they did their final byes , i did a lil ''water fountain' show of mi own.....
then i waited for mi fligth and proceeded to travel here wth no amazin encounters with anyone on the plane..unfortunately...
in montreal tho, there was alil mess up with mi luggage, i was supposed to pick it up and re-sign it in for vancouver but didnt know ..so the airlines said theyd hav to pass it thru customs themselves and if i wwaited for em to do it mi flight wud leave and ill b stuck in montreal and the best thng was to forget the luggage and theyd send it to vanc later...i was distraught- had had a terribly long flight and the flight attendant was highly rude- in an understatement..so i had water fountain scene part 2.....yes yes, im out to cure all water famines in this world..UN, recruit me now...
anywayssss..thts all for mi trip for now..i know its a lil rushed and way boring, but i HAD to do it for miself aite..u need not read it..if ur still readin- AWWWWWWWWW,,u loyal loyal BORED friends of mine...lol.......the next blog is gnna b an update on whut ive been upto snce i got here...
all mi crapp for now
much love to all...
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)