BitterSweet

long long long long long day...
add another long..
wher?
between the long and the long...

slept at 4 am ...woke at 6 ..went to uni...saw ez with his adorable lil glasses he wears..he doesn wear contacts on days he has exams, incase they bug him..oh, and he completly forgets to shave......hahaha...so he looked lost and confused ..like a lil 14 yr old...anyways,, the exam was ohkayyyy....i did okay i think..it was easier thn i thought..wayne ws there...sat next to me and ez...bianca and tommy sat far far away.....tommy cuz he cudn fight a seat and like bianca gives a damn anymore anyway...
finished earlier thani thought i wud..went to see ez in library who had alreadyfinished 15 mins earlier..big surprise there......haha...watched sum of his (lame) youtube vids, told him to get a life...said our goodbyes and hope u hav a gud time and the embassy doesn screw u up etc...
went and saw socrates guy on the way..went and said hey (yes armie i came out of mi wall for a whiile..) he seemed genuinely surprised tht i approached him....how can i tell?well
a) i have brains
b)i have eyes
c) it was kinda obv in the way he replied heyyyyyyyy,,,,
we talked..he seems nice...doin' joint psychology and minoring in phil....sweet guy...later on asks me,
him- is ezra ur best friend
me (startled)- no,,not best friend, but one of mi closest friends..
him-i thought u knew him frm before
me- i jus been here 3 months, onli became his frnd cuz of phil..

haha..best friend?! far from it....bt i pityed socrates...he seemed loneli...

then i went to the embassy..who made me wait....again....this time round the visa woman in charge didnt even look at me..the guard shooed me away sayin its not done yet,,no replies from french govt, we'll call u..
stunned and depressed and frustated beyond anything ive ever felt,,i walked out..called dad and mi aunt....told him id get ticket changed..told them id b late coming back home cuz i might hang out with sum friends..they said ok, don't worry..relax...so on.....all to make me feel ok...not like a failure.....tho thts all tht ive done.....haha..but wait,,,,the major major screw up is YET to come...

wandered round downtown waiting for patrick to come..he had an exam at 3 and was supposed to meet me at 4...tried calling travel agent, the machine said u needed coins..withdrew money frm atm, tried to get itchanged into coins ........but, out of the million shops around, they didnt hav any coins to give...finalli aftr walkin miles in circles, got 5 dollars worth of change, called, they put me on hold for those 5 minutes, card finished...
wht did i say to tht?
ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH...
whut else was there to say?/

boiling now,i called mi aunt..she said buy a calling card..went to the other end of the world to get one.....meantime, got mi slightly expensive bra exchanged..turned out mi size is refusing to fit me now...and i tried evrything else but nuthing fits...either the cups too small or too big or the band is falling down or whutever..got a slightly loose version,, ran to make the call to travel agent again.....note-
1)according to mi aunt- loose bras have an advantage- they can b shared btween aunts and nieces..
2)the distance between wher i got the card to wher me and pat were supposed to meet and where the payphones were is 5 times ism....maybe more..i went up and down that road about 3 times today....not including other walking around that area too..and i hav mi aunty too..the onli way im surviving is panadol and brufen....haha..yeh don;t glare..thers realli no other way out...id die of the pain otherwise.....

well then i call them, a good hour before patricks about to come so i finish fixing the ticket thing on time..bt it doesn happen....and patrick comes by then.....and listen to this- the original ticket price is like 1600..the charges to get it transfered to another day?
1070.
yup..as much as the ticket...yup,no cheaper rates..yup i tried calling 10 times and arguing with them already..yup, the ticket is non refundable
and yes, we are screwed
and oh yes, hav to change it in the next 3 hours or risk losing the ticket altogther..
and yes, must remain sane and happy while doing that.

so..anyways,,i heard travel agent with one ear- called patrick adn told him where exactly i wwas with the other ear, and kinda tried to block out the chinese conversation and the arabic conversations from the two booths at the side of me , plus all the blaring music from the stores behind me...anyways..after an hour and 30 minutes of arguing, ihad no luck..the cheapest air ticket was still 1069..seeing patrick there made me smile tho..yes he's an asshole but why the hell can't i eevr be mad at him? i dont know why......grrrrr...i promised miself id leave the screaming for later- if i ever got the heart to do it

we went to a shop to pick up a jeans he had wanted..( onli 350 dollars....nothing special =P) yup the guys rich..doing odd jobs and his contests and whut not...then we wandered round downtown...looking for a restaurant..he was worried i wudnt eat anywhere cuz of halal meat/ generaal pickiness,,, so he kept making sure every place we stopped at had a huge veggie menu id like....finalli came to a cute lil thai restaurant,,,niccely done...and the food was AH-MAZING..i had veggie rice and tofu and sauce and all..he had rice and cod fish and all....but the food was realli good..and im sure expensive too..he said he had to go the bathroom, but it was an excuse to go and pay, so we wudnt fight over it.......see its little things like this tht make me like him..nd then he writes all tht trash...anyways, the dinner was a success....in gttin me ok fr a while again at least....we had realli gud time.......he told me things hes never told anyone, and trust me its not jus sumthing he was saying tht hes never told neone...the nature of the things were such tht im sure he WUD NOT hav told anyone..im sorry i cant write them here...,...

anywyas...we ate, we talked, we left...walked back to skytrain station,..train was cramped,,we were standing close..didn mean too.....:$......and he kept starin at me..and i blushed..and he said this is the last time we're ever gonna meet then..and i said i know..(and it hurt)....but it was true....then he asked if he dare hug me..and i laughed and i said i dont mind..and we hugged..''blush blush''..hahaha..OI its onli a hug...bt it ws a long-ish hug..and yeh it felt gud, esp after the whole stress of the day....and for the first time i felt mi walls coming down, and i ws bout to cry..BUTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT i didnt..OK???....dont go aw-ing for me now..
i said DONT....
jus reminded me of the time wen u cud run into ur mums hug or ur sissters or jus SUMONES and itd b okay for a while..a place where noone cud touch u...thts how it felt like, for the briefest of times..and it made me miss home...and rimaaaaaaa and armieeeeeeeee and sandyyyyyyyyyyy....cuz we used to hug every day....nd i didnt realise how much it meant to me and how much id miss it till i came here
..anywyas..his station came....side hug again..bye byes...lolz..
no, i didnt get miself to swear at him
or attack him...
dont glare u idiots......hes crap to me then he makes up for it and i jus didn know whut to say..
i swear i ws gonna write him an email but then he came online and said hie..and we talked some more..about realli personal stuff..hahah..big red blush coming up again....lolz...
and oh, he said i was soft..
OH SHUT UP ...haha.....no comment...


well thts that..its over now ..unofficialli....which means tht tho it hurts, its time for me to move on....to forget....to b ok...to not care for him and all the silly lil things hes does...

ps- he gpt me a book hed been goin pn and on about..the one called boundaries..UNFORTUNATELY..m iaunt saw me with it and has been hanging onto it since..shes gotten this annoying habit th she reads every book i get first..for whut reason i dont know...she jus reads EVRYTHING i get.....and its so annoyingg.. REALLI feel like reading it now but shes asleep on top of the book tho she promised shed come and give it to me..
.and what can u say to this..
another ARGHHHHHHHHHHH..
or if ur tired of argh-ing and having to open up ur mouth wide, do the shut-mouth anger expression..thts
GRRRRRRRRRRRRRR.....
gnash teeth too...for added effect....=)

hmmmmm..............whut else....came home...finalli the euphoria faded..now im sittin with massive butterflies and stress about mi visa..its gotten to such a big complicated mess tht u three cant even imagine...heck, even i cant..we're losing about 1600 dollars...all cuz i didnt try hard enuf..and because aunt and uncle didn guide me whilst buying the ticket....and i cant say its ok, we make mistakes because this is ONE BIG mistake.....one exxpensive mistake...

anyways.....ive onli slept 4 hours in the last 24 hours and probabli wont sleep all night today till mi dad and his best frnd sort out mi ticket thngy in libya and tell me whut to do..and thts got to be before 4 am so ill b up till then..mi eyelids feeel like tins already and theyve already swollen up....its best i lay back and relax for a while now..lolz...

all mi crap for now..
luv u all
over and over and over and over....
eeedums..

ps-rima-theres better pictures,,,bt i dnt look like a kid in them..i look like im 25..haha..and im ..er....shy to post those up yet...er....hahaha.......ill send u this one if i gt time aite...?hope app s goin great with M*M* and armie with M*R*..hahahahahah........
xoxoxos..

ps-hers a song ive been lsnin to latelyy--loveeeeeee it
mario vasquez-ask abt mi luv
guh-roooovyyyyyyyy beat ...:)