Healing.

its 4:38 am i hav nuthin better to do, i made a collage of all the people who've figured in mi life this summer...the onli ones u probli dnt knw are mi hijabi frnds,...eldars the bloke who'll b teachin me macro econ next semester if i get his class.,,,xiandu was mi econ tutor,,,i loveddddddd her cuz of her amazin dressin style and the way she used to take a special interest while teaching us....tina mi english partner..and the rest....people to add were wayne, monica- a great frend from econ tutorial- mandana- again frm econ tut-and a coupla others.im sorry if u dnt like the pictures i put of u,,thse r the ones i thought show ubest...lozl...best at 4 38 am anyways...

the second icon is sumthin which i thought wws cute..so i jus put it up..kinda v random, but ths very me, aint it?



after all that crap from the last post,,a lil worse was to follow,,,the french embassy asked me to come back again, mi aunt screamed at me for not listening to her to come down and eat when i had mi headphones in mi ears and i was lsnnin to mi eco lecture online,had a fight with pat cuz i teased him about bein a 'wife-y' cuz he did too mani household chores and he got pissed abt that.........but then we made it up and apologized, we'd both been edgy tht day.... and there waso other lil crap....bt jus when i thought i cud take it no more.....it started to look up.. not a guy's IT lookin up u idiots,,life i mean...

well we went to the beach a coupla times...and saw the sunset..and shopping...then i watched a 'walk to remember' all over again..cried....talked to rima and armie....missed em.....after the whole french embassy fiasco, i cried again...watched 'daddy's lil girl' by frankie J a voupla times..and cried......had lunch with ez and his frnd one day..wanst as awkward as i thought it wud be...had a long long chat with him too bout his new crush...helped out his frnd tommy get over his breakup with melissa with a serious lecture on 'to chase or not to chase''....always theyre faithful frnd aren't i...

.then spent the whole day with patrick..and it felt soooooooooooooooooo gooood....it shudnt...but it did..because for once, he wasn runnin away frm me.ther was no awkwardness like there had been..jus bein happy and laughin and doin things for each other..like walkin to class or waitin in line to buy candy floss..i told him to lighten up and move on and all..and today after i dunno how long, he mentioned me in his blog..and well, yeh it felt good,.......... it shudn ,..... but it does....and im workin on how to let it not make me feel tooo happy,,cuz itll b over v soon.....
ps- frm blog, the thing in vietnamese prolli means relax...thts whut i said..kinda like let it go i think....lolz.....and yeh it was jus a lil annoyin wen he said 'teenager'lolz.....bt thts aite......read on...

On Friday, I was so stress-out and could not do anything. Fareeda told me to "ăn chơi nhảy múa" for 2 days. And, I did. Nothing was in my mind and I had so much fun with my friends.

It was excellent timing that a "5-year no see" friend, Bảo Nguyên, was in town to visit Vancouver.

Yesterday night, we hang out at Điền's new apartment, meeting Tùng cap and Yến. cap Tùng "cày" 2 jobs (over 80 hours this week) but still came and drank with us until 3 am. What a guy !!! ( he did look down on anh Lương's 60 hours a week )

Hmmm.... What troubles me is that I turn to a teenager for wisdom. Fareeda has been right about things, a lot of things. I hate it when a girl is right. Ha ha..



so thts tht then...and ......tht night on mi request mi uncle gav me a drive of downtown at round 10pm..mi first trip donwotan at night....it was GORGEOUS.....when they say u can onli tell a city's character at night, tht's SO TRUE..vancouver by night was charmingggggg and romantic,,,,,like all the lights frm the stars had come down.....i saw many groups of teeens hanging out and laughing..and i missed u guys even moreeee....
next day wee went to see the annual grand finale of the fireworks competition by the beach..it was 10 in the night and pitch black...from wher we were sittin, we had the mountains accross the sea from us, and tiny lil lights glittered in the dark,,like heaven had come down to earth....on the right the beach curved far far away towards downtown..and u cud see all the high rise buildings illuminated in an explosion of golden pinpricks...it was breath-taking,,to say the least..the firworks erupted close to the downtown side, so we saw it at an angle...but MI GOD..they were beautifullllllll....tiny lil red stars shooting up to form balls of green and gold stars and come crashing down in showers of silver and blue..it was an international compeition, so the fireworks were AH-MAZIN....i think china did the best ones.....i ws stunned in to oblivion..haha..kept thinking how awesome itd be if u cud be inside those balls of fire and hav all that golden light around u....
anyways, so between playin round the beach and the fireworks and pat and ez all..i felt happy..evn tho the embassy thing is a disaster and i still hav to go downtown coupla times and shoppin and finals are 2 days away,,i feel the weight in my heart is gone....i cn put up with alll this crap frm as close to a fresh start tht i can......and tht feels gud....

and ofccourse the onli people who got me here are those loyal lil frnds sittin overseas worryin and caring for me...and right now, tht means more than any thing else....

and hm..well during my 'dark and dim' phase a while back....haha, yeh its melodamatic i knw...i wrote a coupla poems..theyre harsh and gloomy , but yeh...its aite..i wanted to put one down here tho....here goes...........

Wear my cloak
feel this Dark
this Void

Yes ,there's Light
Glowing dustmites
Apprehensive, Distant

I watch it
Indifferent, behind
My thick glass Wall

Misted over and over
By wet, shaky
Breaths.

well dustmites are those tiny lil golden things u see floating in the sunshine when it enters ur window.....tiny lil speckles of dust..hmm...well yeh so thts the poem..nuthin amazin and absolute BS bt thts how id been feeling..i was trapped and hiding behiind mi mask and i cud SEE the happiness and the light-heartedness but i cudn reach it...bt now,im comin out a lil...let me end this blog by the sentence tht'll make it into '100 most delomratic sentences eevr uttered':-
im healing miself again......lolz

thts all mi crap for noww....
see u guysssssssssssssssss
love u loads aite..dnt forget,,,,,,,

me me me