edit added at end.

im bored again.
two blog posts from uni, within 3 hours of each other= new record.
and testament to the fact that i absolutely have no life.

Interesting thing learned from world lit class-
there is no morality in a world of chaos.


what else did i learn? oh, that Odysseus played 'unwilling lover' to an immortal goddess for 7 years, because he was married.
key word. unwilling.
even more key. he played the role, nevertheless :/
at which the prof mimics him, ' like seriously, how many more positions could there be?'
i didn't know whether to die from laughing or mortification.



we play our cards as fate sees fit.
unquestioning.

''who can glimpse a god
who wants to be invisible gliding here and there?''
-The Odyssey, by Homer.


i see God
when the sky turns a plummy azure and burns up with the rage of the setting sun.
fade out into dark,blinding night.

rahmble. pfft.

30 mins to class, at the other end of campus again.
surprise surprise.

i miss home.

dad says yesterday on skype.' beta ur a woman now. u cant do this. jab tumhari shadee ho jaey gee, ull need to cook regardless of whether you had a long day. thoda serious ho, ghar sambhalo, khala ka hath batao.'
dad i'm 19.
i do help out.
i can cook and sew liek a champ for someone my age whose not in paki and being drilled by all the aunties there so that she can be put up for show on a pedestal like other poor lambs.
it's like a friggin bakri market there.
funny dad applies all those rules to me here when he's conveniently some 4000 miles away.

it chilled me to the bone tho. despite sub jo ho raha hai, what if i still end up with someone like that? i got that feeling again yesterday, which i haven't had for a while. absolute fear.

i'd much rather have you here with me now. you knw that right? i miss you alot.
tonight'll be our night.

i can stand up and try and run away from this rut but i know that being desi and being female should be qualification enough to get me back in that shit hole cooking for some maulvi type jerk i can't stand for the life of me and having to raise his kids and pretend pretend pretend for the rest of mi life.
it.makes.me.sick.to.my.stomach.

please don't let it go down that way.

on a brighter note,
Rudolph's a red-nosed reindeer.
i always said.
:D