nonsensical

he says.' don't cater to my needs. just be you.'
a.r.g.h

i really really want to just smash my skull hard against the wall right now.
except that i know that i can't.
and it's Pissing.me.off.
because i have to be sane.

i hate sanity.

i read this book once by Paulo Coelho called Veronika decides to die, where this girl called Veronika ( surprise surprise) gets admitted to a mental hospital because of a failed suicide attempt. She comes to realize that in a mental hospital there are no rules and everything goes because heck, ur insane. It talks about letting go of your inhibitions, about doing thing that you always wanted to secretly do, but couldn't because soceity told you not to.

Kinda like Freudian Psychology, except that noone's asking you to have sex with your dad.
Freud was just w.e.i.r.d that way.

back to said point.
im thinking. i can't really get myself INTO a mental hospital, which sucks.
i've always had this overwhelming desire to.
actually, if i claim distant blood relationship with Zardari, it might actually work.

don't even get me started on his cheap arse my-wife-aint-been-gone-12-months but ooooooh-hello-there-pwetty-lady-lemme-hug-u crap he pulled off with Sarah Palin.

but back to original point.if i WAS mad.
i. hm.
life would be simpler.
id eat dress marry sing travel whomever wherever whenever i wanted to.
childish i know.

im trying to drown out my throbbing temples with the loudest harshest brashest music i can find on my Itunes, which is hard, considering i dont have too much OF that kind. fry my neurons into mush so they stop racing each other for one second numb everything out until its just meaningless echoes bouncing around like old forgotten voices calling each other in sunken ships wedged between mildewed crags overcome in seaweed and bones of dead fish.

armie tells me there's 4 steps to love.
xrx_mizunderz2d_xrx says:
the first one is called "FILIA"..its love for friends...
the second one is "EROS"..which is physical...ur attracted physically..
the third one is "STERGO"..which means u see urself having a future with him and all...
and the fourth it "AGAPE"...which is unconditional love.

unconditional love.

i dont think theres such a thing anymore.
maybe its in old couples smiles. mayb when a mother holds her newborn.

mayb its in everything. maybe its in nothing.
everything can be corrupted.

i find hope in broken lyrics. in pictures.




love.it could be love.
it could be something else too.

That is love.
That was always love, but we
live in rushed seconds.
-Desert lion on deviantart.com


liar.lyre.pyre. pair. prairie.
nonsense. non sense. no sense
sense
sense and sensibility.
screw that.

let's all just run after butterflies in lavender fields.

Karsh Kale has been drumming Milan in my ear for the past 40 minutes or so nonstop.
its funny how even the loudest volume isnt loud enough. stupid headphones/itunes/HP/


There are no shortcuts to any place worth going.

too true.
im tired of trying to go places.

haha..that sounds wrong on so many levels.
no worries everyone, im not going no places..bah
mi minds permanently in the gutter.

im not saying anything worth a dime right now.
bed-time.
4 am..probably a good idea.

last quote for my idealism deprived soul.

I tried the world, it wears no more
the colouring of romance it wore.
-L.M Montogomery.

Definitely Pms-ing now.
God bless unquestionable ready-made excuses for bouts of insanity and incoherence.
A-men.


the dash is intentional.

aight im outtie....like a saudddiiiiiiiiii.
peace in the middle east.
bad bad BAD joke.

xo
-eeda