Dad

of a million faces
of bear hug icons in skype conversations
of coats hanging on the edges of every door, too high for mum to reach
of holding my head from the top and telling me to stop.thinking.so.much.all.the.time
of cigarette ash that ended up anywhere But in the ash-tray
of the crinkly eyed smile that bought out the glittering opals in his eyes and lit up his entire face
of listening to wayyyyy old indian songs in the car
of listening to wayyyyy old indian songs in the car on FULL volume, when we complained it was boring.
of making me fall in love with mukesh and rafi and kishore and lata and the other old crooners
of never caring about what you wear and how you look just to please others
of waking me up at 8 am to crawl into bed between mum and him because it had been too long
of reading books on islamic history and old urdu literature with a light propped up on his bent knees and his grand-father type glasses
of insisting we sit on EVERY roller coaster on EVERY amusement park we ever went to
of crying softly in bed while half asleep, the night after i left for Canada
(ohh yes ma told me)
of standing up to whoever, for what's right
of falling off from the jet-ski out in the middle of the sea and coming up spluttering and laughing
of laughing again when i was clinging on for dear life and asked if there were any sharks in here
of stroking our hair and patting us ( a little too hard) to sleep
of taking me to the sea in the middle of a storm because i felt like it
of random big one arm hugs and asking me if everything was okay
of random big one arm hugs telling me everything was okay it'll all be okay
of long-winded discussions in the car about politics and economy
of dancing on the sidewalk, at the beach, at 12 am, in his most expensive suit, in the rain, because he felt like it
of making the entire family visit ALL of his cousins and extended cousins and aunts and great aunts and their neighbour's son's dogs EVERY time we go back home
of teaching me family is the most important thing in the world
of always smelling of Aramis and faint old cigarettes.

there was a guy next to me in the bus today who smelt strongly of Aramis and old cigarettes.
he wasn't dad.

i miss you.

-xo
eeda

ps
sehri=nostalgia+mush